Random Thoughts: Gruden would have cost a lot

by Gary Shelton on December 31, 2017 · 0 comments

in Alabama, College football, general

Sunday, 3 a.m.

Jon Gruden is the most famous player of chase in history. The guy loves to be rumored to be a target, doesn't he?

– Do you think Gruden read about Dirk Koetter in the paper? Or do you think the price tag of everything Gruden -- salary, free agents, assistant coaches, length of contract, buyout -- might have made the Glazers dizzy?

– Sometimes, you just shake your head. ESPN predictis that the new coach of New York Giants will be ... Bill Belichick. It's just me, but I don't think Bill is dumb enough to trade in what he has for a two-win team with a short rope at quarterback. That could even make Bill smile.

–  49ers safety Eric Reid says he's fine if protesting the anthem costs him his career. In response, I ask this question: Who is Eric Reid?

– Gruden might run for governor. Then again, maybe not. Yes. No. We'll see. Maybe he'll catch a movie and think about it.

– It's hard to make Vernon Hargreaves into a star, but the Giants -- and Eli Apple -- are trying. Talk about your rotten apples.

–  More than 400 people in Alabama want Nick Saban to be their governor, who is holding out for a better job. That's nothing. More than 1,200 voted for Forrest Gump.

— Poor Gabi Garcia. She missed weight for her upcoming fight against Shinobu Kandori  ... by 28 pounds. Who were her trainers? Ben and Jerry?

Willie McCovey supports Barry Bonds for the Hall of Fame. And Wild Bill Hickok supports Pete Rose.

–  Do you ever think that watching bad football could be the death of some fans? Well, maybe. Former Cleveland Brown fan Paul Stark's obituary said the Browns contributed to his death. The Browns, meanwhile, could start an epidemic.

–  Turns out, Typhoid Mary was a Browns' fan.

–  Anyone remember when bowl games were interesting?

–  Now that Dirk Koetter has plans for 2016, he can consider this: He has six games against the NFC South, where he is 0-5 so far this year. He has the NFC East -- Philly, Dallas, Washington the Giants. He has San Francisco and Chicago, both improving. He has Cleveland, the Ravens, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. Anyone see 10 wins in that?

– This just in: Jeff Fisher not only built the Rams, he saved Private Ryan.

–  Also, he let the dogs out.

–  And he wrote the book of love.

– Here's a thought: If your friend is packing weed and ammo, don't lend him your truck. Just saying.

–  I don't know if Deion Sanders can coach, but I'm betting he could get into a few living rooms as a coach with FSU. He'd come up with some recruits, as long as he didn't have to tackle them.

– Chad Johnson thinks the Jags should sign him because the team is in a post-season run. The Jags won't. Because they're in a playoff run.

– James Harrison just wanted a team that valued him. Of course, a Pittsburgh fan would point out that Benedict Arnold said the same thing.

– Got to roll my eyes to see that NickiSwift.com (who?) has named Tim Tebow as the most overrated athlete of all time. Guys, Tebow finished in the top three of the Heisman three times and a won two national titles. That's not overrated. That's merely not making it in the pros.

–  I saw a story that looks back during Tiger Woods at the '97 Masters. He said he told himself "don't screw it up." Don't you wish he had been talking about his career?

–  Those of you with long memories will remember that in 2002, one of the candidates for the Bucs' job that Jon Gruden took was Marvin Lewis, who did a good job in Cincinnati. But Lewis was 0-7 in the playoffs. Edge: Gruden.

–  Danny Kanell seems to think that a conference (the Big 10) doing well in bowl games proves that its champion should be in the playoffs. That's likes saying that a team that eats a lot of oranges should be in the Orange Bowl. The two have zero to do with each other.

–  If you're like me, you live in fear that, at this exact moment, a TV producer is thinking how good "Wednesday night football" rolls off the tongue.

– Prediction: New Orleans 28, Tampa Bay 20.

– Anyone who says Jameis Winston has nowhere to improve is dumb.

– Anyone who says Jameis Winston has nothing to offer is dumber.

–  Mixed bag, people. He's thrown the ball well. He's thrown tantrums poorly.

– One disadvantage to the fact we won't see Jon Gruden: The Sequel: Dexter Jackson still doesn't have a catch in the NFL.

– Dirk Koetter's job? Make sure the Bucs don't have a coaching search next year, either. Hint: Toddlers need a time-out now and again.

– That didn't take long. The folks at 247.com says the Raiders are about to chase Gruden and will offer an ownership stake. The Giants, meanwhile, will offer Manhatten.

– The big winner in Johnny Manziel going to play in the Canadian Football League. The United States.

– Say what you want about Jameis Winston, who could star in a live-action version of Rugrats, but he's unquestionably one of the top five athletes in Tampa Bay. Now, you may argue whether that says more about Winston or about the Bucs.

– One more game, and John Ross of the Bengals throws a "Dexter Jackson no-hitter." Yay.

– Miami's Mike Pouncey says he wants to "give a big middle finger" to all the doubters. Hey, Mike, the Dolphins are 6-9, The doubters were right.

– One question about the movie "I, Tonya" featuring from former Olympic bad girl-thug Tonya Harding: Who plays her swing coach?"

–  Dick Enberg never yelled at me. Thank you, Dick.



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