Random thoughts: Cue the exit music, please

by Gary Shelton on October 14, 2018 · 0 comments

in general

Why is it that when I watch the USF Bulls play, I hear the theme song from Mission Impossible?

-- That's okay, though. When I see the Bucs play pass defense, I hear Yackety Sax.

-- Bucs' defensive coordinator Mike Smith is right when he suggests that the sky is not falling. If it were, an opposing receiver would catch it and run across the goal line.

-- All in all, was it better for the Rays' feel-good season that they didn't make the playoffs rather than exit early? Making the playoffs is better, but not by much.

-- Tim Tebow says he likes the college football playoffs at four teams. I suspect that will change as soon as his beloved Florida Gators finish fifth.

-- It will never happen, because the team scheduled marshmallows in the second half of the year (hello there, Bethune-Cookman). But the latest Nebraska loss makes you wonder: Has a coach ever gone undefeated one year and winless the next?

-- This is funny enough to die for. Buffalo Bills fan Lee Merkel died last week at age 83, and USAToday quotes his obiturary. He asks that six Buffalo Bills serve as pallbearers to they can "let him down one last time."

-- I wonder what Orel Herschiser thought when he saw Clayton Kershaw, who he said was the best pitcher who ever lived, last only three innings against the Brewers?

-- Bucs' quarterback Jameis Winston ranks eighth on the Bleacher Report list of quarterbacks ... under 25. It's not a compliment. The site ranks both Sam Darnold and Baker Mayfield, whose careers are just getting started, ahead of him. In other words, it's time for a little growth, isn't it?

-- Because of the way polls work, USF could crack the top 20 this week. But if they played a bet-your-house game, would they be in the top 40?

-- The talk about about Nebraska making a run at a bowl game? Aren't the Cornhuskers 0-5? Says a lot about the remaining schedule, which has Ohio State and the Oompa-Loompas.

--  Dwight Howard has an injury to his, um, buttocks. Funny, but when it comes to being a pain in the butt, I thought Howard was a carrier.

-- As life goes on, I discover there are more and more things I do not care about. Charles Barkley and his under-roos are chief among them.

-- Josh Norman prefers his headphones to listening to what his Redskins coaches had to say at halftime. To determine who's right, you have consider the message from his music and the message from Jay Gruden.

-- Did Andy Warhol paint those Memphis helmets?

-- Jameis Winston isn't the only celebrity who won't be doing an Uber ad soon. Lenny Dykstra has been charged with two counts of substance abuse and one of making terroristic threats. The Uber driver, smart guy that he was, drove Dykstra to a police station.

-- Former Packer Jimmy Taylor died. Are we going to have no more third-and-twos?

-- When Pat Shurmer says he "believes in Eli Manning," who else hears "I believe he'd look fine standing by me on the sideline." Coming soon: Someone else.

-- Know how athletes hate it when outsiders suggest who should play? Well, Herschel Walker wants to name his own CNN staff. Oh.

-- If all the kneeling still bothers NFL owners, all they have to do is purchase standing rights from the players. What's the going rate for knees?

-- Why did the Knicks pay so much to get rid of Joakim Noah? It was worth it, man.

-- Odell Beckham tried to take out his frustrations on a fan. You know, the kind with blades. He's also fought the kicking net, a wall and a door and a football. The world is a punching bag to Odell.

-- I'm not saying that the Jaguars will soon be London's team, but I hear they're having bangers-and-mash as their pregame meal from now on.

-- If I made a knucklehead out of myself, I wouldn't talk about it, either. So I understand Dan Mullen's silence.


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