Random Thoughts: Was it Pie Traynor Day?

by Gary Shelton on March 15, 2015 · 0 comments

in general

Hi. I’m Hillary Rodham Clinton, and I wouldn’t have killed all those e-mails, but I swear, I didn’t know Nigerian generals were that rich.

— I read where John Madden, America’s favorite grumpy old aunt, says Will Farrell was being disrespectful to baseball when he made his appearance in multiple spring training games this week. I thought he was being disrespectful to acting with Land of the Lost.

— Wait til Madden gets a load of Norm McDonald playing second for the Rays.

-- Want something to argue about? Here goes: Who had the better NFL career: Josh Freeman or Tim Tebow.Discuss.

— Hey, who else has “Kentucky’’ in their bracket? I was wondering if I was the only one.

— Just wondering: What does the membership of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (KKK) think of Lee Roy Selmon’s legacy?

— Little Wayne said he didn’t order that prostitute. If only Warren Sapp had thought of that excuse, he’d be on NFL Live this very minute.

— Just wondering: Who is going downhill faster these days? Lindsey Vonn or Tiger Woods?

— Well, the Bucs certainly fixed that offensive line in free agency, didn’t they?

— The important thing wasn’t that the NFLPA argued on behalf of Trent Richardson getting paid by the Colts. It’s that they kept a straight face while they did it.

— As long as the Saints are rumored to be trading old quarterbacks, look for the Bucs to pick up John Fourcade any minute now.

— Just out tonight in Norman, Oklahoma: Birth of a Nation.

— Marcus Mariota visits the Bucs on Monday. The first question he’ll likely face is this: So, Marcus, what is Jameis like up close? Huh?

-- When a team that needs the positive publicity that the Bucs do says nothing about its free agent signings, the silence is deafening. Think the Bucs might have been asked about last year?

— Can’t wait to see the new marketing campaign by the Bucs: “No Collins, No Johnson, No McCown. No worries!’’

— Pie Traynor had a day?

— Brandon Marshall likes the looks of Geno Smith. That may be the worst thing anyone has ever said about Jay Cutler.

— All in all, it didn’t work out too badly as the Jets traded away Darrelle Reavis. They saved millions in two do-nothing years, they picked up a No. 1 and they got rid of Mark Sanchez. A pretty good day’s work, all in all. But don’t the Bucs have change coming?

— So why did Kim Kardashian and Bruce Jenner argue? Fashion, I bet.

— Geez, can’t Hillary just tweet like everyone else?

-- I am not making this up. Attorneys in the Aaron Hernandez murder case can't agree whether he's holding a pistol, or an iPad, in a video. And why aren't we all watching this on TV. Even O.J. Simpson?

— Someone got offended over something that former Ray Aubrey Huff said? I’m shocked. This time, Huff took on former Giant Pablo Sandoval, old Kung Fu Panda. Said Sandoval: “Who’s Aubrey Huff?’’  If we’re casting another Kung Fu Panda, couldn’t Huff at least be Crane?

— I’m not saying that Will Farrell’s day was a publicity stunt, but in the inning he pitched, I understand that Manon Rheume was his catcher.

— And Who was on first.

— Tiger Woods will miss Bay Hill. His odds of playing in the Masters depend on whether he can wake up and find it’s 1995 again.

— Second question for Mariota: So, how much do crag legs go for in Oregon?

— I know the new Vikings receiver is named Mike Wallace, but I can’t see him tiptoe across the middle without thinking of Morley Safer.

— Got a little cash lying around? You an own Dennis Rodman’s 1996 Hummer with the naked lady painted on it for only $55,000. The mileage is a little high, but it is a ways to North Korea.

— In a related story, an old pair of sneakers worn by Michael Jordan is supposed to be auctioned for $50,000. Supposedly, the Hummer costs more than the sneakers because it has a better sound system.

— O.J. Simpson is up to 340 pounds? Goodness, Juice, the file was in the cake. You aren’t supposed to eat them both.

— Oh, well. You know what they say. If the pants don’t fit, you must acquit. Unless they split.

-- Sometimes, you can just see the pay-per-view numbers spin when athletes talk. Like when Laila Ali talked about how she would beat Rhonda Rousey. But Ali hasn't fought since 2007. So boxing or MMA? Let's talk.

— So, I guess Madden really won’t like it when Adam Sandler plays for the Bucs next preseason.

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