Sunday, 5 a.m.
Did you see that Kyrie Irving thinks the world is flat? Not only that, he thinks the world is supported by a guy named Atlas who carries it on his shoulders.
– No word on whether Irving or Rams' defensive end William Hayes -- who doesn't believe dinosaurs existed -- have been watching more cartoons.
– Just wondering: Anyone want to believe that a dragon tried to eat the sun until Bugs Bunny stopped him? Also, there were witches.
– No one knows what happened yet with Trent Richardson and the domestic violence charge that was issued this week. But we do know how far Richardson's career has tumbled: He and his girlfriend were spotted arguing in the aisles of a Walmart.
– According to rumor, Jets' cornerback Darrelle Revis tried to cover up the evidence of his assault. Sadly, he couldn't cover that, either.
– Hey, actors strike the film-makers all the time. Why not Revis, star of “How I Got Beat Deep.”
– Reason No. 1 not to trade for Patriots' quarterback Jimmy Garoppola: Ryan Mallet.
– Reason No. 2 not to trade for Patriots' quarterback Jimmy Garoppola: Matt Cassell.
– Reason No. 3 not to trade for Patriots' quarterback Jimmy Garoppola: Bill Belichick is smarter than you are.
– Curt Schilling, the ex-pitcher in the tinfoil hat, says ESPN has become too liberal for him. I guess that's because ESPN didn't hire him to host “ESPN: Mars.”
– I don't care if the Pro Football Hall of Fame keeps O.J. Simpson as a member. But, um, can't we move his bust into a nearby closet?
– A shame that former pro wrestler George “The Animal” Steele died at age 79 this week. I was looking forward to him being in Donald Trump's cabinet.
– Here's a question: Did the late Ivan Koloff have anything to do with hacking Steele's email?
– The Atlanta zoo, on a bet, named an animal after Tom Brady: A Hissing Cockroach. I'm sure it's interesting and all, but if it was in my kitchen, I would imagine stepping on it. As my shoe came down, I'd say “come back from this, Brady!”
– Therefore, my shoe trumps the Atlanta Falcons.
– Manchester United's Zlatan Ibrahimovic says he wins everywhere he goes, and thusly compares himself to Indiana Jones. Which means don't bring the snakes. Why does there have to be snakes?
– A new mock draft by the Bucs at NFL.com? The website has the Bucs taking Dalvin Cook of FSU in the first round, Indiana center Dan Feeney in the second, wide receiver ArDarius Stewart of Alabama in the third and tackle Victor Salako of Oklahoma State in the third. Evidently, the site thinks the Bucs will find their safeties in free agency.
– Speaking of free agency, NFL.com also has the Bucs being one of the teams that could sign Pittsburgh Steelers' ace Le'Veon Bell and one three teams interested in Bears' receiver Alshon Jeffery. Again, no safeties.
– A Boston radio host and renown homer named Michael Fegler (all together: who?) has accused Joe Montana of lacking class because he didn't say that Tom Brady was the greatest of all-time. To be fair, Montana didn't say he wasn't, he said he wasn't ready to proclaim it. I think Brady's the best, too, but here's an observation: being a lapdog isn't exactly the definition of class, is it?
– George R.R. Martin disagrees with the Giants axing Victor Cruz. That's fine. I disagreed with Martin knifing Robb Stark, so we're even.
– I see Grunge has its basic Tim Tebow rip which, frankly, is a little boring by now. The amusing thing that the website based much of its story on how disappoiting Tebow was by quoting Brady Quinn, who perfected the term. Quinn is basically Tebow without the burning bush, right?
– Simeon Rice is upset he's not in the Hall of Fame. I like Sim, but he was a little disinterested as a player. It's kind of late for caring now that he's third among former Bucs on the eligible list.
– Former NFL quarterback Vince Young wants to play again, and fansided.com lists five teams that should sign him. Here are my five: The Philadelphia Soul, the Tampa Bay Storm, the Cleveland Gladiators, the East Valley Warlords and the skins team that plays in my local park. Hey, even when Vince was young, he wasn't exactly Steve Young.
– I think the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame is full. Why else would Chris Webber, Tracy McGrady and the 1954-58 Wayland Baptist University team (no lie) be up for induction?
– Alabama is hiring Brian Daboll as its new offensive coordinator, which begs the question: Is going from Bill Belichick's scowl to Nick Saban's really a promotion? What's the old line: They asked him to leave the bar so they could have happy hour?
– Dan Marino might get his own license tag in Florida. At least, his Dan Marino Foundation might. Evidently, you can use it to drive anywhere but the winner's circle of the Super Bowl.
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