Random thoughts: Cash’s firemen carry gas

by Gary Shelton on May 7, 2017 · 0 comments

in general

Saturday, 4 a.m.

Random thoughts:

Just wondering: Is there a lead the Rays can't blow? Going into Saturday night's game, the Rays had lost the lead in 18 of their previous 19 games.

–  This should have been Kevin Cash's response when he was asked why he allowed Chris Archer to pitch to Kendrys Morales. “Who the blazes was I supposed to pitch? You can't walk everybody.”

– I'm not saying the Rays lose a lot of leads, but I think Hillary Clinton is in their bullpen.

– Thomas Dewey?

– Know why LaVar Ball's shoes are so absurdly overpriced at $495 a pair? Probably the size of the tongue.

– I read an article that referred to Jay Cutler as “one of Chicago's most polarizing figures.” Sorry, but to be polarizing, doesn't someone occasionally have to visit the other pole?

– It's the old line. A bar once asked Cutler to leave so it could have happy hour.

–  When I used to cover the Kentucky Derby, I was miserable. A friend of mine, Wally Matthews, used to say it was the best thing we covered because we were done by 10 in the morning. But we were staying in crappy hotels and eating fast food. I'd rather work.

– CBSsportsline.com now rates the Bucs as the No. 8 team in the NFL, just ahead of the Cowboys and behind only the Falcons, Packers and Giants in the NFC. Doesn't that kind of seem like someone is grading tomorrow's homework?

– I wouldn't pay $495 for a pair of shoes if you could click them together and go back to Kansas.

– Considering the airtime he gets, and the substance behind him, and now the shoes, are we absolutely sure that Ball isn't a Kardashian?

– Again, I would not pay $495 for a pair of shoes if they were from Carl Perkins and made of blue suede.

– Has there ever been an NFL play that you wanted Jay Cutler to explain to you? Really?

– While Judge Margaret Taylor was at it, why didn't she blame Charlie Strong for letting the Alamo fall?

– Speaking of CBSsportsline.com, the site says the Bucs will draft Notre Dame tackle Mike McGlinchely with the 22nd pick next season. The interesting thing is that means the playoffs. Foxsports.com has the Bucs taking Clemson tackle Mitch Hyatt. ESPN says LSU defensive end Arden Key. Walterfootball.com has the Bucs taking Ohio State defensive end Tyquan Lewis. All of which shows that it is never too soon to waste time.

– I love Jay Cutler giving advice to the Bears on quarterbacks. It's kind of like the director of Ishtar giving tips on how to make a movie.

– Maybe it's my age showing, but I don't blame Roger Goodell for not rushing to turn the NFL into a Cheech and Chong movie. Put it this way: Did you ever meet a stoner you'd want to perform surgery on you?

– I say Kelvin Benjamin has a great future. It's just that it's in sumo wrestling.

– Just wondering: If the Canadian Premiere Soccer League takes off, will Canadian MLS teams jump? And if so, will that help Tampa Bay get an MLS team?

– Here's a thought. If Aaron Hernandez' lawyer was able to spring him, as he suggested, which NFL team would be the first to offer him a contract? And which team would have signed him? (Cough) Raiders.

– The biggest upset in the world of sports is that Mr. Ed never won a Kentucky Derby. I'd love to hear his explanation for that.

– Speaking of Aaron Hernandez, what is paragraph three, line 16 of the Bloods' bylaws?

– Former Packer tight end Colt Lyerla was captured after a walkabout from prison. Forgive him, but there is extra pressure on him now that he's the top-rated former NFL tight end in prison.

– The way I understand it, the more knowledge you had, the quicker ESPN fired you. They only held on to people whose volume is louder than their intelligence.

– A man proposed to his girlfriend the other night at a Red Sox game. The girlfriend said no. Even worse, Curt Schilling said it never happened. In fact, the Sox play their home games in Narnia and Roy Hobbs bats cleanup.

– Yardbarker.com had an interesting list of the five most overrated coaches in college football. They were, in order, Notre Dame's Brian Kelly, FAU's Lane Kiffin, Michigan's Jim Harbaugh, Texas' Tom Herman and Iowa's Kirk Ferentz.

– If Texas and Oklahoma leave the Big 12 for new pastures, who replaces them? And will they take the word “big” with them?

– ESPN says USF will finish 10-3. I wonder if Judge Margie will be embarrassed?

– This just in: Curt Schilling says someone made up Crispus Attucks.

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