Sunday, 4 a.m.
An early guess for who makes the Hall of Fame this year: 1. Ray Lewis; 2. Randy Moss; 3. Terrell Owens; 4. Tony Boselli; 5. John Lynch.
– Ranking the college football teams, in advance of the playoff poll:
1. Wisconsin: The Badgers are unbeaten, which should erase the
weak schedule questions. Next up: Ohio State.
2. Clemson: The defending champs have only one loss. Next up: Miami.
3. Oklahoma: No matter what crudeness quarterback Baker Mayfield demonstrates, the Sooners are pretty good. Next up: TCU.
4. Georgia: The Bulldogs were on their way for a while. Now, they get a rematch. Next up: Auburn.
5. Miami: Too many close calls, but it won't matter if they beat the Tigers. Next up: Clemson.
6. Auburn: Two losses are going to raise some eyebrows, but they've beaten two No. 1s in three weeks. Next up: Georgia.
7. Alabama: Only one loss, but the Tide won't play in the SEC title game. Next up: Prayer.
8. Notre Dame: Their loss to Miami is still on our minds. Next up: More prayers.
9. Ohio State: They have a chance to slip in if they can beat the Badgers. Next up: Wisconsin.
10. UCF: The Knights are unbeaten. Surely, they should be in the discussion. Next up: Memphis.
– Bill Belichick called the Miami quarterback situation “outstanding.” Which means that he thinks Jay Cutler should be out standing in the parking lot.
– Chip Kelly picked the UCLA job over Florida's. I guess he's afraid of winning...or the expectations of doing it.
– If Cleveland's Hue Jackson was doing a bad job, how could you tell?
– Super sleuth Urban Meyer says he's going to launch "and all-out investigation" into the cameraman who hurt quarterback J.T. Barrett. First thought: Thank goodness it's an "all-out" investigation. I was afraid he was going to set the FSU cops on the case. Second thought: Meyer certainly knows a lot about investigations, although it's usually from the other side.
– For those of you keeping score, that's Charles Barkley 1, Satan 0.
– Question. If the NFL were to take Jerry Jones out of the Hall of Fame, could another deserving player get in?
– Speaking of the Browns, I love the t-shirt that says “Season of Misery.” And above it are the words “Dilly, dilly.”
– Three coaches who won't be considered for the Florida job, no matter how bad it gets: 1. Mike Riley. 2. Jim Mora. 3. Ron Zook.
– The reward for a good year? According to projections, USF is headed for either the Birmingham Bowl (against Middle Tennessee) or the Military Bowl (against Virginia). Whee.
– I guess Miami is back to not being back.
– The only reason a coach would pick UCLA over Florida? He doesn't want to be in the top 10 coaches of his city. In Gainesville, he would have been king. In Los Angeles, he's behind the Dodgers, the Angels, the Lakers, the Clippers, the Rams, the Chargers, the Trojans, the Kings, the Ducks and the Galaxy. Not counting anyone who has ever played a coach in a movie.
– Steve Young bit the head off a raw fish. Does he want fries with that?
– Miko Grimes says Deion Sanders, the Hall of Fame guy, couldn't carry hubby Brent Grimes' jock in today's game where “ you can't touch the WR.” Not that Sanders exactly earned fame by being physical. What he could do was take away half of the field.
– Too bad the USF Bulls fell short. On Charlie Strong's notepad: Run more between the guards.
– You have to say this. He isn't playing, but Jimmy Garappolo is going to look nice in the 49ers' team photo.
– When you think about it, LaVar Ball is Donald Trump. Right?
– The Cleveland Browns still have a chance. True, the 0-10 Browns could only make the playoffs if 46 things go right. That makes the odds one in 19 quintillion. Basically, you have a better chance of learning how to fly.
– I read that the outlaw John Wesley Harding once shot a man named Tom Brady. If so, it was one of the few times that Brady was ever beaten in a competition. Not counting Two-Gun Roger Goodell, of course.
– Chip Kelly turned 54 Saturday. Interesting. UCLA last won a share of a national title back in '54. And they may have another one in 37 more years.
– Barry Switzer blames Madonna and Michael Jackson for Baker Mayfield grabbing his crotch. Really. You sure it wasn't Rudy Vallee and Marion Harris?
– Good thing that Mayfield wasn't influenced by Janet Jackson. I don't think any of us want to see a uniform malfunction.
– Of course, Charlie Strong wishes he had thought of Switzer's excuse.
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