Henceforth, Brock Osweiler, ex of the Browns, will be known as the Ryan Leaf of free agency.
– Seriously, when someone in Houston talks about the catastrophe that hit the city, he's going to ask “Harvey or Brock?”
– Did you see that Lions' punter Sam Martin said he was donating $10,000 worth of dog food to the Houston hurricane relief. And elsewhere, an end zone full of Cleveland Browns fans drool.
– Just in case this football thing doesn't hold out, Le'Veon Bell applied for work at his local Dairy Queen. What do they have in common? Good shakes.
– Terrell Owns, who played back when TV was in black and white, says it's a joke” he isn't on a roster at age 43. If it's a joke, it's so old that Milton Berle told it.
– Wonder how Roberto Aguayo enjoyed his brief tour of Chicago.
– So much for the powerhouse coaches of Florida. Butch Davis' team gives up 61. Lane Kiffin's gives up 42.
– Just asking: Is there room for Joe Dirt in the WWF?
– Eric Winston, the NFLPA president, said two weeks ago that he didn't care if the NFL dies out in 20 years. This just in: It died out Saturday for Winston, who was cut by the Bengals.
– Feeling my age: When I started covering the NFL, the roster size was a firm 45. That meant if a team had a first-teamer and a backup for each postion, plus a kicker and a punter, it was over the limit.
– You know the song “The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You?” Did you realize it was dedicated to Tom Herman?
– I still don't understand this: If the league is paying them, why can't all 53 players dress on Sunday?
– Just asking: How many Gators would have been suspended Saturday if Urban Meyer and his Fighting Bailbondsmen were still in charge.
– It's a shame that ex-Ray Derek Norris was charged with domestic violence. As a defense, Norris has shown his statistics, which suggest he never hit anything.
– Now that the genius has rubbed off of Tom Herman, does Texas immediately start a move to bring Charlie Strong home?
– A confession: During the playing of the national anthem Saturday before the USF game (I stood, because I want my NFL future to remain intact), I wondered: Does Stoney Brook recognize the same anthem? I mean, are they from this country?
– (I'm told they are.)
– Does Stoney Brook play Slippery Rock. And if not, why not? You could play for the Wet Boulder.
– The difference between the Chargers and the Broncos? The Chargers drafted Ryan Leaf only once.
– The Colts, it seems, are all fired up after trading for Jacoby Brissett. The bad news? They traded with the Patriots, who are undefeated in trading.
– Now, here's a novel idea. A company called Rep the Squad will rent you a jersey to wear on game day. That way, you don't get burned if your favorite player is traded or cut. The problem is, it costs $20 a month, which means you'd be able to buy a new jersey after five weeks. Or, you know, you could wear a t-shirt.
– One more time: My rules of wearing a jersey are a) you cannot wear a bigger size jersey than the player in question (no Warrick Dunn jerseys for me) and b) if you're old enough to be the players' father, you must indeed be his father to get away with wearing one and c) all rules are suspended if you can wear Booker Reese's jersey.
– I see Marcia Clark says that O.J. Simpson shouldn't have been paroled. Actually, didn't Clark do all she could to make sure he walked?
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