Random thoughts: The bungles of the Bucs’ bird

by Gary Shelton on April 29, 2018 · 0 comments

in general

Sunday, 4 a.m.

Hey, when the only thing that goes wrong for a team is that its parrot didn't work, it's a good thing. Right.

-- Ranking the Bucs' cornerbacks: 1. Brent Grimes, 2. Robert McClain, 3. M.J. Stewart, 4. Carton Davis, 5. Vernon Hargreaves; 6. Javien Elliott; 7. Josh Robinson, 8.

-- Have you noticed that draft grades are largely reliant on a draftnik's original mock. For instance, Derwin James is considered a steal at No. 17 because most mocks had him going high. But James was drafted where the league said he should be drafted. No one stole anything.

-- Has a player ever been one inch bigger because of the cliched "chip on the shoulder?" Just asking.

-- Turns out, Zsa Zsa the parrot is directly related to Steve Carlton.

-- The next time I buy a car, I want Jason Licht to shop for me. He'd come home with a car, a motorcycle, a truck and three bikes.

-- Ranking the Bucs' defensive ends: 1. Jason Pierre-Paul; 2. Vinny Curry; 3. William Gholston; 4. Noah Spence; 5. Will Clarke; 6. Channing Ward; 7. Davonte Lambert.

-- R2D2 announced a draft pick for the 49ers. Does that mean might be Wookiee of the Year?

-- The Bucs' parrot had nothing to say. What a shame that Mel Kiper didn't follow the same script. War Parrot!

-- Ranking the Bucs' defensive tackles: 1. Gerald McCoy; 2.. Vita Vea; 3. Beau Allen; 4. Mitch Unrein; 5. Stevie Tu'ikolovatu.

-- A Cleveland radio nerd says he'll eat poop as promised after the Browns took Baker Mayfield. Haven't Cleveland fans been doing that for years?

-- Is it true that Cleveland picked Antonio Callaway because it really, really misses Johnny Manziel.

-- Ranking the Bucs' running backs: 1. Ronald Jones II; 2. Peyton Barber; 3. Jaquizz Rogers; 4. Charles Simms; 5. Dalton Crossan.

-- Let's see: The Bucs could have gotten Daffy Duck. They could have gotten Foghorn Leghorn, They could have gotten Tweety-bird. Instead, they get a pouty parrot,

-- I'm not sure I know what I want out of the 2019 draft, but making David Akers stay home is a good start.

-- Ranking the Bucs' wide receivers: 1. Mike Evans, 2. DeSean Jackson, 3. Chris Godwin, 4. Adam Humphries, 5. Justin Watson; 6. Freddie Martino; 7. BoBo Wilson.

-- I read where the NFL did an investigation into Derrius Guice's maturity. Guice would have cooperated, but he was busy playing with his blocks at the time.

-- Ranking the Bucs' safeties: 1. Justin Edwards; 2. Chris Conte; 3. Keith Tandy; 4. Jordan Whitehead; 5. Isaiah Johnson.

-- To get past  this round of the playoffs, the Tampa Bay Lightning will  to survive the Bruins and Brad Marchand, aka the Kissing Bandit.

-- Ranking the Bucs' offensive line: 1. Ali Marpet; 2. Donovan Smith; 3. Ryan Jensen; 4. Demar Dotson; 5.  Alex Cappa; 6. Caleb Benenock; 7. Evan Smith; 8. J.R. Sweezy; 9. Larry Wester; 10. Michael Liedtke; 11. Givens Price; 12. Brad Seaton; 13. Adam Gettis; 14. Cole Gardner.

-- After trading Michael Bennett and Richard Sherman for Shaquem Griffin, the Seattle Seahawks are much more likable.

-- Ranking the Bucs' linebackers: 1. Lavnte David; 2. Kwon Alexander; 3. Kendell Beckwith; 4. Adarius Taylor; 5. Devonte Bond; 6. Jack Cichy; 7. Cameron Lynch; ; 8. Riley Bullough; 9. Jeff Knox; 10. Nigel Harris.

-- I know that Michael Vick had a forgettable career, but even he can't remember it. He told the Dallas fans Friday night "I never lost to Dallas." Actually, he did. Which means that Vick is dumber than the parrot.

-- Speaking of Zsa Zsa, he might have been the most foul performer of the Bucs since Roberto Aguayo.

-- Ranking the Bus' quarterbacks: 1. Jamies Winston; 3. Ryan Fitzpatrick; 3. Ryan Griffin.




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