Sunday, 6 a.m.
Pretty amazing that Michael Phelps has won more gold medals than 108 countries. And Goldmember.
– To the world: Sorry about that Hope Solo, ok?
– The best part about Antonio Cromartie evicting his mom from the house he bought for her? It's a long time till Mother's Day.
– Of course, with seven baby mamas, Mother's Day is a tough enough day for Cromartie.
– By the way, good job by Leonidas of Rhodes. Until Phelps tied him the other day, he had the record for most golds for 2,168 years. Just guessing, but I don't think golf was one of his events.
– Rams coach Jeff Fisher cut receiver Deon Long for having a girl in his dorm room, completely platonically. It reminds me of former Georgia coach Wally Butts, who once had a rule against married players until he found out Charlie Trippi was married. “I did the only thing I could do,” Butts said. “I changed the damn rule.” In other words, if Long was Todd Gurley, how much you want to bet Fisher looks the other way?
– So the New England Patriots' dancers spelled out “Brady” the other night. They would have spelled out “Garoppolo,” but got stuck on Garo. Everyone thought it was a tribute to Garo Ypremian.
– I admire defense, but has an Olympic diver ever ben shut out before? Russia's Nadezhda Bazhina scored a 0.0, which is the same score you would get if you missed the pool and landed in the stands. Or if you did a cannonball. Or if you acted like you were shot. Or if you were the Rays.
– I'll consider A-Rod for the Hall of Fame right after John Dillinger makes it into the banking Hall of Fame.
– If I'm the Orlando Magic, I start scouting Serbia right now.
– Next time Solo goes to the Olympics, she should take Tonya Harding, Richie Incognito, Dennis Rodman and Donald Trump with her.
– Officials in Rio finally figured out why their diving pool is green. Kermit got caught in the pool pump.
– About the time Kenny Bell fumbled, you might have been missing Bobby Rainey. But Rainey is in danger of being cut by the Giants...for fumbling.
– As if things weren't tough enough, Tiger Woods has made his second bogey with his restaurant. His fish was ruled inedible by the state. And the birdies are off the menu.
– I know he's not coming back. But don't you wonder how many gold medals Phelps has inside him. Second question: Did Francis Scott Key listen to the Star-Spangled Banner as much as he has?
– Maybe the Baseball Hall of Fame should have a cheaters wing. Just throw a book outside and feed it steroids every day. If it grows into a wing, that'll be the place.
– Preparing for his baseball moment, Tim Tebow grabbed a bat and asked "What does this thing do?" And the entire Tampa Bay Rays answered as one. "Beats us."
–So what will Curt Schilling's agenda be when he runs for president? Bloody socks rule?
– I'm huge on Phelps, like everyone. But when you're debating him against Michael Jordan and Joe Montana or a young Tiger Woods, remember this. Those guys could only win one medal at a time. Montana could only win one Super Bowl a year. Jordan one NBA title. Woods four majors. Not saying any were better that Phelps, but it's his domination, not his medals, that you should be arguing.
– How did Solo lose the gig as Harley Quinn in the movies?
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