Random thoughts: Jones makes even Goodell shine

by Gary Shelton on November 19, 2017 · 0 comments

in general

Sunday, 4 a.m.

By and large, I agree that Roger Goodell is overpaid. But I think Jerry Jones needs a fresh set of Pampers.

– When it comes to prospective Gator coaches, Chip Kelly has the biggest splash factor. But if Jim McElwain wouldn't play well with others, you wonder. Will Chip?

– Tom and Katie divorced. Jennifer and Ben divorced. And now Mike and Mike? Who gets to keep the blender?

– Terrell Owens said he'd rather play with Carson Wentz than Donovan McNabb. McNabb would probably rather play with Roseanne Barr than Owens. Just saying.

–  Auburn coach Gus Malzahn, it is rumored, wants to be in Arkansas. Which makes the lifetime total of people who actually wanted to be in Arkansas one.

–  Simple reason the Bills are benching Tyrod Taylor: The Bucs aren't in town this week.

– Does it occur to anyone else that the NFL could pay Roger Goodell $16 million a year — a fortune — and save $1 million per owner, and $1 million for you and I, and we'd all have a nice Christmas. Dilly, dilly!

– Does anyone think that John Ross, the ninth overall pick, will catch a pass this year? Two?

– In mentioning the one move that the contenders should make, Bleacher Report says the Chicago Cubs should trade for Chris Archer. It also says that the Milwaukee Brewers should trade for Chris Archer. And that the Seattle Mariners should trade for Chris Archer. So everybody doesn't hate Chris, after all.

– I kind of like Miami's turnover chain, the gaudy necklace that gets passed around when the Canes take the ball away. What's next, though? A sack bracelet? A tackle for loss set of earrings?

– Ha-Ha Clinton Dix says that Martellus Bennett quit on the Packers. I'm sorry. But can you take seriously anything said by a player named Ha-Ha.

– I'm sorry that Danica Patrick is retiring. NASCAR will just have to find someone else to finish 37th.

– Are you as weary as I am at the annual Jimbo Fisher-makes-a-lateral-move rumors? One of these days, FSU's just going to say, "Hey, if you need to go, then go."

– Did you hear that a Jon Gruden lookalike was eating with a Peyton Manning lookalike at a Knoxville barbecue restaurant. Forgive onlookers. In Knoxville, no one knows what a real coach looks like.

– Charles Manson, evidently, is at death's door. Asked for comment, Manson simply said "Go, Cowboys."

-- Baker Mayfield got confused. He thought grabbing one's crotch was, in fact, the Heisman pose.


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