Random thoughts: Constructing a bad quarterback

Sunday, 4 a.m.

Forthewin.com attempted to construct the world's worst quarterback by assigning him the worst attributes of nine quarterbacks. It's hard to argue that Jameis Winston made the cut with his poor decision making.

-- Others on the list were Philip Rivers (arm strength), Josh Allen (accuracy), Ben Roethlisberger (physique), Alex Smith (hand size),  Sam Bradford (knees), Eli Manning (athleticism), Joe Flacco (passion),

-- On the all-time list were Kirk Cousins (mental awareness), Rex Grossman (decision making), JaMarcus Russell (accuracy), Chad Pennington (arm strength), Alex Smith (hand size), Jay Cutler (passion), Michael Vick (durability), Peyton Manning (athleticism), and Joe Namath (knees). Of course, they could have cut to the chase and declared Josh Freeman the winner in most categories.

-- On the other hand, he had good knees.

-- Bill Belichick said his team played "38 seconds of good football" in their win over Washington. That's overachieving. Usually, it takes Redskins' opponents only 30 seconds or so to beat them.

-- Goodnight, D.J. Durkin.

-- With the upcoming Players Weekend (August 24-26), players will wear nicknames across their back. The best ones? Kevin Kiermaier is the Outlaw (as everyone knows), Tyler Glasnow is "Mini Horse," Willy Adames is "the Kid," Sergio Romo is "El Mechon," Blake Snell is "Zilla" and Matt Duffy is "Duffman."

-- Two New York pitchers, Noah Syndergaard of the Mets and J.A. Happ of the Yankees, have hand, foot and mouth disease. Normally, a pro athlete gets foot-in-mouth disease.

-- So, do you think Richie Incognito can bully the Vikings into signing him?

-- Sam Darnold says that reading NFL defenses is easier than when he played in college. This, after a short stint in one preseason game. Excuse me, Sam. But you're still on the table of contents.

-- One of the columns I was most criticized for while at the Times was one questioning Urban Meyer, the Florida coach at the time, for playing Tim Tebow a week after he suffered a serious concussion against Kentucky. Looking back , I feel pretty good about it.

-- I loved the story about Haley Dawson, who -- with a 3-D printed hand -- threw out the first pitch at a Rays' game. It reminds me of the Phillies. Once, a man with the world's first transplanted hand threw out the first pitch to a game. He bounced it, and the crowd booed him.

-- Remember when you were a kid. The football might be skinned, or warped, and occasionally, it would end up on someone's roof. But it never seemed to lack for air. Now, Mason Rudolph is just like Tom Brady except for the trophy wife and broken cell phone.

-- I see where Mark Wahlberg, the actor (sort of), has praised Cleveland rookie Baker Mayfield, suggesting that the Browns have a star. Frankly, Cleveland has had a lot of Mark Wahlbergs. They need a better actor.

-- Cam Jordan of the Saints had the best response to Donald Trump's tirade against NFL kneelers. "What a goober," he texted.

-- Giants' running back Jonathan Stewart seems to be running on gas. Literally. Or did his towel just flutter in the wind?

-- Did you see that former New Orleans safety Darren Sharper says that he didn't understand his plea deal and wants his sentence reduction despite drugging and raping 16 women? I'd redo his sentence, all right. I'd triple it.

-- Author  Jeff Snook, who has done books on Ohio State, says that Brett McMurphy was tipped off by Texas coach Tom Herman on his story on Courtney Smith that busted Urban Meyer. (Both McMurphy and Herman deny it). As a friend of both McMurphy's and Snook's, I say this: So what? Who cares who snitched? Either Urban knew or didn't, and either he lied or didn't. Nothing else matters.

-- Former major league all-star pitcher Esteban Loaiza is the newest cast member of "Athletes in the Clink." He's pleaded guilty for having $500,000 worth of cocaine, which would be a heavy weekend for Darryl Strawberry.

-- I read where Sam Darnold was called a "savior" after one preseason game. Baker Mayfield was called "a star." Saquon Barkley was called "Thunder." Ah, runaway optimism after a practice game. Isn't it grand?

-- Will Muschamp is more concerned with anonymous sources than he is abuse of Maryland players? Really?

-- Some say they're terrified by Ole Miss's new "Landshark" mascot. Me? I think it's a bad cartoon that should score only Chevy Chase.

-- So what do you ask a punter who doesn't want to talk about football? Maybe Marquette King should just do movie reviews.

-- Evidently, Dez Bryant's phone doesn't accept calls from Cleveland. Yeah, the guy has a disconnect from reality.

-- The secret to Tom Brady's success. Former NFL receiver Chad Johnson says he knows. "Tom Brady is black," he said. Oh.

-- Talk about stubbornness. Former Bucs' quarterback Josh Johnson is still hanging around the NFL. He's now working out for Seattle. Don't you wonder what Josh Freeman thinks of that?

-- Proof we're all getting old. Jim Kiick, who exceled for the '72 Dolphins, is turning 72.

--  I see where Rick Pitino's horse, "Party Dancer." has won again. Just asking. Do you think he hires mares for him?

-- The interesting part about Lance Armstrong's bike accident is this. Evidently, he shed his own blood. Who knew he had any left?