First, you blindfold the FSU Seminoles. They are used to starting off in the dark.
After that, you place them in a straightjacket.
Then you submerge them in a water tank, and you let loose of the piranha, and you chum the water with blood. After that, you might want to drop heavy things upon them.
After that, the Seminoles will feel at home.
Say hello to Team Escape Artist, where the going is never easy but the end is always the same. It's like watching a Popeye cartoon. FSU is bound to spend the first half where the players run into each other, only to gather themselves and win it in the end.
It is a trend that seems to thrill the rest of America, who are weary of all of the winning and all of the scandals and all of the Tomahawk chopping. Frankly, it kind of thrills FSU fans, too, although they are fast running out of fingernails.
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