Sunday, 4 a.m.
Here on induction weekend, when the Halls of Fame get more crowded, here are five guys who shouldn't be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame: Former Cardinals' owner Charles Bidwill, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, Pittsburgh receiver Lynn Swann, Packers running back Paul Hornung (on the Pete Rose ticket) and Bills' running back O.J. Simpson. I'll give a pass to Troy Aikman (many of these lists pick on Aikman) because he won three Super Bowls, and to Joe Namath (more interceptions than touchdowns) because of his golden moment of Super Bowl III.
– If I'm Magic Johnson, I offer Lonzo Ball a $10 million contract. And I'll make it $20 million if his father would shut up and stay in his lane.
– The next time Ball wants to hold up a game in order to get a referee replaced, I'd have him arrested. How's that for a technical? This bozo has to be stopped. It is no longer amusing.
– Oops award: Julio Jones paid for a lesson this week: You don't go jet-skiing with a $100,000 earring in your lobe.
– Oops award runner-up: Dallas Cowboys defensive end David Irvin suffered an injury when his nipple ring was ripped out during practice.
– Here on induction weekend, let's find five baseball Hall of Famers who don't belong. I'm going to take away the busts of Fred Lindstrom, Phil Rizzuto, Roger Bresnahan, Ray Schalk and Candy Cummings. I give Bill Mazeroski a pass because of the drama of his home run.
– The best thing about new Rays' hitter Lucas Duda is when fans sing “Camptown Races.” Especially the part where they sing “Duda, Duda.”
– Nick Saban says he'd like to see Power 5 teams playing only Power 5 teams. Which is going to be quite a shock for the eight SEC athletic directors on hold to Louisiana Tech.
– Here on induction weekend, let's clear out five players from the Naismith Hall of Fame. Drazen Petrovic, Calvin Murphy, Dennis Rodman, Arvydas Sabonis and Bill Bradley.
– Jon Gruden says he's “preparing” to coach again in the NFL. A bit of advice, Jon: Start by burying Bruce Allen's phone number and forgetting where you put it.
– Here on induction weekend, let's keep it going. We're going to take five inductees out of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame: Percy Sledge, Lloyd Price, Donna Summer, Booker t and the MGs and Laura Nyro.
– When Jacksonville safety Barry Church suggests the Jaguars have “more talent than the Cowboys,” do you think he's silly, or do you think he's out of line to rip Oklahoma State like that?
– I see the Orlando Magic aren't one of the six teams interested in Cleveland's Kyrie Irving. I guess the Magic just have too many good players.
– Did you see where USC will not welcome alum O.J. Simpson to campus. Or Homer Simpson, who isn't as big a cartoon, either.
– Leonard Williams says the Jets can win the Super Bowl. Yeah? When?
– Do you play Madden? In the 2018 version, Mike Evans and Gerald McCoy are the best Bucs' players, each scoring a 90. Some other random scores: 88 - Brent Grimes; 87 - DeSean Jackson; 85 - Bryan Anger; 84 - Chris Baker; 82 - O.J. Howard; 81 - Jameis Winston; 80 - Kwon Alexander; 78 - Nick Folk; 75 - Noah Spence; 73 - Roberto Aguayo; 72 - Donovan Smith. In playing cards, I think Madden ranked an ace the highest.
– I don't know why Da'Quan Bowers doesn't like Jason Licht, but it reminds me of the old joke. "So you buried your brother-in-law?" "I had to. He was dead." Bowers shouldn't blame Licht. He spent almost five years proving he couldn't play.
-- I wonder how Bowers feels about the other 31 general managers who yawned while he went to the CFL.
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