Sunday, 5 a.m.
Cleveland tackle Joe Thomas, a good soldier, doesn't want the team to draft a quarterback in the first round because it's messy when they fail, whereas a defensive tackle can fall short of expectations but still be serviceable. Thomas, of course, has been in Cleveland long enough to start the conversation with failures.
– Jags general manager Dave Caldwell thinks the team “can win a Super Bowl” with Blake Bortles. What he doesn't say is that Bortles will be the long snapper at the time.
– CBSsports.com ranks the 50 Super Bowls. It has the Bucs' win over Oakland at 46th, which is incredibly low considering the blowouts in a lot of years. Who did this list? Barrett Robbins?
– Marcus Dupree is a pro wrestler? What's next? William Perry as a ballerina?
– If I'm Venus Williams, I'm a bit ticked off at little sister. If not for Serena, Venus would have 30 grand slam singles titles. Instead, she has seven. Not bad, but she doesn't get to brag often.
– The Pro Bowl is tonight. I'd really be looking forward to it, but there is a Beverly Hillbillies retrospective on somewhere. I love the old line that every town plays the Beverly Hillbillies, but in Alabama, it's on PBS.
– Former Rays' prospect Richie Shaffer is moving again. He was with the Rays when the off-season began, but has since moved to the Mariners, the Phillies, the Reds and now Cleveland. Dude can't keep a job.
– In the St. Louis Cardinals case of hacking the Houston Astros, Vladimir Putin says he has an alibi. This time.
– Our old buddy Scott Milanovich, the guy that Tony Dungy supposedly had a grudge against, has left his job as coach of the Toronto Argonauts to be Jacksonville's quarterback coach. No word on whether Milanovich could play instead of Blake Bortles.
– The same day, the Cardinals hired Byron Leftwich as quarterback coach. If you can't do, teach. And if you can't teach, teach quarterbacks.
– Bleacher Report has Ben Bishop rated as the third most disappointing player in hockey. With a bit more effort (or less), Bish can be No. 1.
– Nesta Carter personally cost Usain Bolt one of his gold medals when he tested positive for a banned substance. Not only that, but the St. Louis Cardinals signed Carter to play left and bat cleanup.
– My favorite story the week? Shettleton goalie Gary Whyte asked the ref for a toilet break, but was refused. So before his next goal kick, he snuck behind the goalie and, well, watered the grass. For that, he got a red card. If Shettleton hadn't won, I guess you could have blamed a leaky defense.
– Tiger Woods has now missed four cuts in his last seven events. It's getting so when Tiger mentions he's at 41, you don't know if he's talking about his age or his score on the back nine.
– This week, Walterfootball.com has the Bucs drafting Michigan defensive end Taco Charlton in its latest mock draft. These things change every week, though. If you don't like Tacos, wait a minute, and a different meal will pass by.
– CBSsports.com has the Bucs taking Michigan teammate Jabrill Peppers. Bleacher Report has the Bucs taking Florida cornerback Quincy Wilson. NFLdraftsite.com has the Bucs taking Western Michigan receiver Corey Davis. Fox sports.com has the Bucs taking Davis, too. Newsday.com has the Bucs taking Washington receiver John Ross. Drafttek.com also has the Bucs taking Ross. Profootballfocus.com, interestingly enough, has the Bucs trading up to take Dalvin Cook at No. 10. Bucky Brooks of NFL.com has Tampa Bay taking Tennessee defensive end Derek Barnett. Whew. Someone is bound to get it right, right?
– Aqib Talib shot himself? Better than someone else, I guess.
– You know what would be cooler than Roger Goodell handing Tom Brady the Lombardi Trophy? How about him sitting next to Tom Brady Sr. during the game?
– Okay, now that Donald Trump is president, do you wish the USFL had made it?
– It was nice that John Tortorella said he is skipping the NHL All-Star game to take care of his son's dog while the son is in the military. And, it isn't true that Torts treated his players like dogs. He treated them much, much worse.
– Who says NFL teams are greedy? The Raiders have offered $1 a year to play in the $1.9 billion Las Vegas Stadium. The Raiders, who paid $3.5 million in rent this season in Oakland, have evidently watched the Godfather, like, a lot.
– A new report suggests that Baylor's football team committed 52 rapes by 31 players in a four-year period. Now tell me why SMU deserved the death penalty while the Bears live on?