Random thoughts: Rolling Tide, Eating Tide

by Gary Shelton on January 14, 2018 · 0 comments

in Tampa Bay Bucs

When the announcer kept telling "it's hard to come to South Philadelphia and get a win" Saturday, I wondered if Ronde Barber was listening. And smiling.

-- Rob Gronkowski had to come out and warn fans not to eat Tide pods, the little detergent capsules designed for washing machines. This was necessary? Other things you should not eat: bicycle wheels, Frisbees, Pet Rocks and attic insulation. Also, McDonald's.

-- Besides, wouldn't Cheer taste better? Just wondering.

-- It was a nice image with Eagles' players wearing dog masks after their victory on Saturday, but I have to tell you. It looked like pharaohs to me.

-- Josh Freeman, the former Bucs' quarterback, had better brush up on his French. He's joining the Montreal Alouettes. Anyone want to guess how long he lasts?

-- Freeman is 30 now. And we can all join him in hoping that Montreal doesn't plan a team photo.

-- I don't know what it means, but I hear Bill Belichick didn't play his beloved Bon Jovi on the team bus on Saturday. For some reason, he listened to They Might Be Giants.

-- Wait until England gets a load of Chucky. The Raiders play Seattle at Tottenham Stadium next season. What is this? The battle for the nickname "Johnny Rotten."

-- So, I guess Kloe "Kong" Kardashian doesn't have to spend anything on O.J. Simpson's Father's Day gift.

-- Neither LiAngeo nor LeMelo Ball scored in their second game in Lithuania. But you know what they say: Those cats from Lietkabelis play mean defense.

-- The hungriest team in the NFL, the Cleveland Browns, raised $17,157 for the Greater Cleveland Food Bank via its 0-16 parade. I guess the lesson is that a parade that moves slowly still beats a team that goes nowhere.

--Tonya Harding finally admitted that she knew about the attack on Nancy Kerrigan.This just in: Bonnie and Clyde robbed banks.

-- Tim Tebow said that the doctors told his mother that he was a tumor, not a baby, when she was pregnant with him. All in all, then, he didn't throw the ball that badly.

-- Add J.J. Reddick to the list of numbskulls who question that dinosaurs existed. What I want is proof of a secret society of archaeologists who go around planting dinosaur bones in digs all over the world. Not to mention Dino.

-- The Army, with nothing better to do, has sued the Las Vegas hockey team over the use of "the Knights." Also expected to be named in the suit are King Arthur, Richard the Lionheated and Joan of Arc. Also: Gladys, the lady who hung around with the Pips.

-- Also Batman, the dark knight.

-- Also David Hasselhoff, who starred in Knight Rider.

--Former Bucs assistant coach Chris Foerster said he did cocaine for nine straight days while coaching for the Dolphins. He also said he wants to coach again, presumably to snort the goal lines.

-- This occurs to me: Without the late, great Keith Jackson, would any of us know who "Nellie" was?

-- Former Bucs' quarterback Chris Simms ranks Jacksonville's Blake Bortles as the No. 70 quarterback in the league. Think about that: If he's behind two quarterbacks for every team, that would at least make him 65th.

-- Or, as it turns out, about 12 slots higher than Simms.

-- The Associated Press named San Diego the worst sports city in America, ahead of Atlanta, Buffalo, Cleveland and Phoenix. Tampa Bay was not included, although it can demand a recount.

--Four Alabama assistant coaches got bigger bonuses than Nick Saban for winning the national title. Saban only got $100,000 and the deed to Tuscaloosa.

-- Note to Margaret Court: The calendar has changed. It isn't 1813 any more.

-- Ok. Who's the CFL Rookie of the Year? Johnny Manziel or Josh Freeman?

-- Cubs co-owner Tom Ricketts wants Sammy Sosa to come clean. And why not? The entire world knows, Sammy. You aren't fooling anyone.

-- The website outkickthecoverage asks an interesting question: Who is the best coach -- period -- working. They offer up Bill Belichick, Greg Popovich, Mike Krzyzewki , Geno Auriemma as competitors. Your thoughts?

-- What if the defensemen of the Lightning all wore No. 77 as a tribute to Victor Hedman?

-- Hey, I admire the folks at Pro Football Focus. I do. But to say that O.J. Howard had less of a season than John Ross -- who didn't catch a ball -- may be the most absurd statement in the history of the NFL.

-- Here's a thought. Since so many college coaches want the college football playoffs to expand, why not  start an NIT for teams 5-8? You could have had Ohio State, Wisconsin, USC and Central Florida playing just for grins.

-- But, no, UCF still wouldn't be the national champion.



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