Sunday, 6 a.m.
Hello. I'm Lavonte David. This is the best morning ever! And the best bacon! And this may be the best internet connection in history!
– A lot of animosity for boxing matches are trumped up for the benefit of the crowd. But for a long time, Joe Frazier didn't like Muhammad Ali. He could never understand why Ali was admired by the masses. One day, I was covering a Superstars Competition, and someone prompted Reggie White to do his Ali impersonation in front of Frazier. So White was carrying on, threatening and rhyming, and suddenly, Joe's eyes went hard. White saw it and started to back away, pleading with Joe that it was Reggie, to calm down. White, who was a huge man where Frazier was not, knew danger. Fortunately, Frazier calmed down.
– Lavonte David is having trouble finding backup singers. Remember when he said the Bucs could be the best defense ever? The Score ran a piece on four under-the-radar defenses ready to make a big jump. The Bucs weren't among them. They listed four honorable mentions. The Bucs weren't among them, either. I'm sure after the Bucs start shutting people out, the analysts will come around.
– If you're a soccer player who can only afford one name, would you pick “Kaka?”
– Former Giants punter Steve Weatherford has been kicked out of a gym for “excessive grunting.” For goodness sakes, he was a punter. What happens when the real lifters get out of school?
– Tom Brady sent chills up the spine of every Patriots' fan when he reminded everyone that he was once a draft pick of the Montreal Expos. Of course, you can't deflate baseballs, so here's to making the right choice.
– I don't care that he's old or overpaid. The Rays could use a little of James Shields' stubbornness right about now.
– Speaking of former Rays, Melvin “B.J.” Upton stole home for the Padres against the Rockies the other night. He's been training for it, of course, by stealing a paycheck for years.
– I'll say this. The Bucs will come closer to being the best defense in history than they will, say, write the greatest opera. But it's close.
– Did you hear the internet reports that O.J. Simpson is contemplating admitting that he did it, after all? That will surprise about, oh, four people.
– Personally, I think Lynette Taylor has a loophole in her defense against the violence charge against Lawrence Taylor. I mean, she used a battery.
– The Padres traded former Rays' pitcher James Shields for the right not to have him anymore.
– If I'm the Jets, here is the next thing I would say to Ryan Fitzpatrick. “Buddy, we can miss the playoffs without you.”
– Sports Illustrated says that Tampa should get its next Super Bowl in 2023. Think the Bucs will be ready by then?
– The Rock says the notion of him being president is “alluring.” Not to all of us, Dwayne.
– Personal recollection: There was a boxer from Cincinnati in the Barcelona Olympics named Larry Donald who fashioned himself to br the next Muhammad Ali. He wrote really bad poetry, like “Roses are red, violets are blue. When we fight, I'm gonna hit you.” The local writer kept a booklet of them for the other writers who would ask. But on the last page, he put a poem by Robert Frost. “I hate to say it,” one writer said, “But this last one is pretty good.” Just goes to show that not everyone who can rhyme is Ali. Donald never hit anyone.
– The Bucs got only 60-1 odds to win the Super Bowl. To have the best defense in history ought to draw about 250-1.
– So who is the next athlete to get the respect Ali did in his passing? Joe Montana? Too quiet. Michael Jordan? Too arrogant. Tiger Woods? Too much fooling around? Wayne Gretzky? Pele? Roger Federer? No, it won't be Lance Armstrong. Who knows whose blood he'll be using that day.
– Barrack Obama on Brock Osweiler's statement that he won't make the visit to the White House. “Who?”
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