Sunday, 4 a.m.
The Philadelphia Phillies had just anointed their new king, Bryce Harper, when the rumors began that they will now chase Mike Trout when he becomes a free agent in 2021. Just asking: Is this the same sport that the Tampa Bay Rays are playing?
-- Fire Guy? After trading away all of his players, the front office of the Ottawa Senators needed to surrender, not find a scapegoat in Guy Boucher.
-- I like when the NFL televises their annual picking-up-teams night. I'm not crazy about the Underwear Olympics part of the program, however
-- Not that Johnny Manziel didn't have enough problems, but it turns out he's married to Rosie Ruiz. Bre Tiesi Manziel said she ran he first half-marathon, with no trailing, in the world-record pace. That's 10 minutes faster than the median participant, which means than she either teleported or hitched a ride.
-- Just wondering: Are the Orlando Magic still in the league?
-- Well, that didn't take long. Jon Gruden, who has never met a quarterback he didn't like as long as that quarterback was playing for someone else, is reportedly shopping Derek Carr. I wonder what the over-under is on quarterbacks for his Raiders' tenure?
-- Johnny Walker was red with embarrassment, I suppose. Walker, the MMA fighter, won his bout in 34 seconds Saturday night, which is fast even by kicking-Rondo-Rousey-in-the-face standards. But then he hurt himself as he celebrated ... by doing the Worm.
-- To put it simply: To be worth his contract, Bryce Harper would have to lead the Phillies to three World Series titles in the next two years.
-- I read where Antonio Brown says the quality of the team's quarterback is a factor as to where he wants to play next season. Right. Brown needs a tough quarterback for when he throws him under the bus.
-- Speaking of Brown, does he expect to be taken as a thoughtful, reasonable guy with that blond mustache?
-- So Baltimore Ravens running back Alex Collins faces handgun and marijuana charges. Is it just me, or have guns and grass become the chocolate and peanut butter of the NFL.
-- Just wondering. Is a guy sitting around playing with his handgun and thinking "This gun is loaded, I should be loaded, too." Or does enough marijuana convince him that Cheech and Chong were really Butch and Sundance?
-- Here's all you need to know about these "recruiting analysts." Some high school students made up a player who they named "Blake Carringer." They said he was 6-6 and 325 and had offers from Alabama and Georgia. The recruiting site 247sports.com immediately ranked him as a three-star prospect. They would have ranked him higher, but they had Paul Bunyan as a four-star recruit. Bunyan has committed to the University of Narnia.
-- So, really, how much analysis goes into these recruiting rankings?
-- The question isn't why former NFL bust Matt Leinart thinks the Arizona Cardinals will draft Kyler Murray No. 1 overall. It's whether Murray can believe the Cardinals once drafted Leinart No. 10 overall.
-- So, as his team prepared to play Kansas City, Robert Kraft allegedly flew to Florida, rode in two Bentleys, arrived at the Orchids of Asia Spa and paid $59 for oral sex? What? Do you shop for bargains with ladies of the night?
-- I see the headline writers have dubbed this episode "Spa-gate," because it's close to "Spygate." I thought it would have been "Inflategate" because it's close to "Deflategate."
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