Random Thoughts: Time-out to measure hypocrisy

by Gary Shelton on November 8, 2015 · 0 comments

in general

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hi. I'm Urban Meyer, and I'd like to point out that Aaron Hernandez never took crab legs. I'd wouldn't put up with that, by golly.

– I wonder if Ray Rice cheers for Greg Hardy.

– I understand why some critics want Hardy banned from the NFL, but who is going to throw him out? Roger Goodell tried, remember?

– The New York Giants' defense today will try to confuse the Bucs, what with playing with 109 fingers.

– So here was the problem with the Tennessee Titans: Coach Ken Whisenhunt and running back Terrence West.

– At age 50, former wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin says he could play for the Cowboys. He wouldn't even have to change his nickname.

– They tried to trade for Jay Cutler. They offered a lot of money to to Albert Haynesworth. But for the life of me, the one I'm grateful went elsewhere is Hardy, a player the Bucs considered.

– Former Raiders' first-round pick Anthony Smith finally made a name for himself. He was convicted of murdering three men. Has anyone noticed that this character-developing sport is filling the prisons these days.

– Look, Tiger Woods is falling like an elevator that has had its cable broken, but you almost feel sympathy for him when his former caddy whines about having to pick up his clubs. What did Steve Williams think the job entailed? Pouring the champagne?

– Former NFL lineman Kyle Turley says that marijuana can help with injuries. Which is why, I suppose, that Cheech Marin never had a knee injury.

– Did you see where Shaq O'Neal says he'll dress in a cheerleader's outfit if the Cowboys miss the playoffs. Just asking: His own?

– So, where did Jason Pierre-Paul get his four-fingerd glove? Homer Simpson?

– Former figure skater Debi Thomas is penniless and living in a bug-infested trailer. Thomas was a fine skater. It's always a tragedy when you get Care Packages from Tanya Harding.

– MLB Rumors predicts David Price to the Cubs for $217 million. So what is that? About a third of a new stadium?

– In a ranking of quarterbacks, NFL.com's Greg Rosenthal has Jameis Winston as the No. 20 quarterback in the league. Peyton Manning is No. 19. Josh McCown is No. 22.

– It's not easy being green. Have you seen the new uniforms of the New York Jets, which looks like something that Robin Hood threw away? The Jets should break their huddle by saying “We're Gumby, damn it.”

– Donovan McNabb will spend 18 days in jail for his DUI. Heck, Otis the Town Drunk spent more time in jail in Mayberry.

– Kloe Kardashian threw ex-hubby Lamar Odom a birthday party? What do you get for the guy who took everything?

– Greg Hardy has three whole sacks. Was it worth that contract, Jerry?

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