Sunday, 6 a.m.
Hi, I'm O.J. Simpson, and when I get out, I want a date with Kris Jenner. Because the only thing more messed up than I am are those pesky Kardashians.
– If I were the Washington Redskins, I'd celebrate signing Josh Norman. And then I'd try to force those Albert Haynesworth memories out of my skull.
– The reason I don't think the Bucs will draft Leonard Floyd. Where do you play him? At left end? Certainly not at a rush linebacker with Lavonte David on the field.
– Normally, it's the NFL team that drafts a talent that feels ecstasy. With Noah Spence, however, you worry.
– Former Laker A.C. Greene says that “Jesus would have been unstoppable'' as a basketball player. Yeah, especially if he didn't pass to that darned Judas.
– Sometimes, I'm amazed at the stupidity you can find on line. A grunge.com article talks about athletes that would suck today, and they pointed out Roger Bannister, Wilt Chamberlain, Gary Player, Ronnie Lott, Babe Didrikson and Billy Jean King. It never seemed to occur to the lunkheads that wrote it that, with modern training, those athletes would be better against today's competition. It's like saying that U.S. Grant would have been a lousy general today because he didn't have the atomic bomb. Some players, such as Chamberlain, might not be quite as dominant because of changes in the game, but he'd still be an impact player.
– Washington Redskins' safety Duke Ihenacho (who?) says he's looking forward to getting paid by Josh Norman for the number 24. Just wondering: Why don't teams just say “Hey, bub. He's a millionaire. You're not. You're lucky to have a number at all.”
– There was a time Curt Schilling would have been ostracized for his views. These days, he may wind up as a political candidate.
– Reason I don't think the Bucs take an offensive tackle? The critics don't seem to like Donovan Smith, but the Bucs do. They certainly wouldn't draft a right tackle ninth.
– Just for a change, don't you wish some team would announce it was going to draft the second-best player available in the draft? The eighth-best player? The 11th?
– I wonder if Mark Dominik does a mock draft. Just for old times' sake.
– USA Today says Florida is the worst school in the nation for producing draft busts. Of course, it doesn't quite mention what a bust, in their definition is. Is Percy Harvin (who retired early after a big Super Bowl) a bust. Is Tim Tebow (a post-season win)? Is Aaron Hernandez (that pesky murder charge)? None of them succeeded enough for their draft spots, but bust isn't accurate.
– Tonya Harding is pregnant. Either that, or she strangled a rabbit to death. So who will the bouncing boy grow up to be? Conrad Dobler? Richie Incognito?
– CBS Sports says the greatest draft steal ever for the Bucs is my old buddy Chidi Ahanatou, who was taken in the sixth round in 1993. I like Chidi a lot, but I think I'd have to go with Dave Logan (12th round) or Earnest Graham (free agent).
– The most impressive part of Blake Snell's debut wasn't his curveball. It wasn't even his fastball. It was that he threw both of them while still able to get into the movies at half price.
– Now that everyone has done 18 mock drafts, ESPN had a novel idea, concocting a scenario where everyone traded their pick in the first round. The website had the Bucs sending Mike Glennon to Denver to move up to the sixth spot, where they picked Joey Bosa.
– If you've forgotten how much yardage the Bucs gave away last year on their offensive line, this may remind you. According the pointafter.com, Tampa Bay had three players in the top 28. Demar Dotson was ninth, Gosder Cherilus was 21st and Donovan Smith was 28th. I guess Ali Marpet is still learning.
– Speaking of the pointafter.com, they ranked each team's worst player last season. It was Harry Melton, also graded by ProFootballFocus.com as one of the five worst interior linemen in the league. Or, as they say, “worse than Tim Jennings.”
– Han Solo. Space commander. Hope Solo Space Cadet.
– Good news for Johnny Manziel. A Taco Time fast food restaurant in Dallas informed him on their sign “Johnny Manziel. We are hiring.” We'll see if he can hang onto the job.
– Like I said, some of the NFL mock drafts have gotten silly. Take the NFL.com mock draft featuring the cast of Game of Thrones. They ahd the Bucs taken Davos Seaworth. Which is just dumb. Especially when Jamie Lannister was still on the board.
– Did you see where the University of Tennessee, after 10 years, replaced its strength coach because of "philosophical differences?" I guess that means that he thought his players had lift their weights sideways, not up, anymore.
– As soon as the Rays and the A's settle their stadium situations, it appears baseball might expand, and do so in strange lands like Montreal or Mexico City or San Juan or Vancouver. Of course, if they want to go someplace really odd, they could go to Las Vegas.
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