Random thoughts: now Melvin is overpaid

by Gary Shelton on March 1, 2015 · 0 comments

in College Sports in Florida, general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Rays

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hello. I used to be known as B.J. Upton, but now I want to be called Melvin. In a related story, the Braves used to pay me in large stacks of "Benjamin Franklins.'' From now on, they would prefer that be in "George Washingtons.''

-- Ronald Belisario shouldn't worry. The hardest part for Michael Phelps was getting out of the pool, too.

-- Not that NFL running backs have been devalued, but from now on, you may think of the position as the drive-thru window in the world of sports.

-- Here's what I don't understand about Thomas Benson, owner of the Saints. When, exactly, did New Orleans get a Kardashian franchise?

-- Meaning headline of the week comes from the Onion: "Jameis Winston Doesn't Rule Out Playing Baseball in Prison.'' Now, let's all act as if that were improper and not at all funny.

-- I see where Tiger Woods is currently ranked No. 66. Oh my god, he's become the South Florida Bulls.

-- I'n not saying that Alex Rodriguez has fallen out of favor with the Yankees, but would most fans really prefer to see Aaron Hernandez?

-- Before you scoff too loudly at Simeon Rice's boasts that he should be in the Hall of Fame, consider this: Rice had 69.5 sacks in six seasons for the Bucs. In the eight years since he left, the Bucs' starting right defensive end have 48.5. After John Lynch, Ronde Barber and Mike Alstott make the Ring of Honor, the team could do less than remember Sim.

-- Why sports people shouldn't tweet, Vol. 413: Keith Olbermann, who knows all about the word "pitiful.''

-- I wonder if Ray Rice would take a chance on Greg Hardy.

-- Here's what Cleveland was thinking: If last year's Bucs' season didn't drive Josh McCown to drink, maybe he can convince Johnny Manziel to give it up.

-- I wonder what color Bruce Jenner sees when he looks at that internet dress.

-- So Cam Newton is pushing carrots? Hey, it didn't work for me when Bugs Bunny did it, and he was a much better athlete.

-- Maybe it's just me, but I think Vince Young would do a lot better at the veteran combine if they would hold it at The Cheesecake Factory.

-- But if Young gets a look, Tim Tebow ought to sue.

-- Just wonder: Did Kevin Stallings watch the Sopranos?

-- If I'm Jameis Winston, I would hereby declare that I'm not interested in major league baseball, the NBA, pro soccer, the Olympics or World of War. Any questions?

-- At least there is this: Together, Anthony Collins, Michael Johnson and Josh McCown didn't make as much as fellow disappointment Roger Goodell in 2014.

--  No word on who it was that stole the Nascar No. 44 driven by Travis Kvapil this week. But I wonder if Bo and Luke Duke have an alibi.

-- So Mike Tyson has a bit part in Gates of the Sun, a new action movie out of Algeria. What? Was Dez Bryant committed to another film?

-- Here's a question: Did the Phoenix police put the handcuffs on Warren Sapp, and if so, did he offer a tip?

-- So Tiger Woods' latest swing coach is Kid Rock? I knew it was between him and a hard place.

-- Good that Jaromir Jagr got to play for the Florida Panthers the other night.It was the most fun he's had since he and Dit Clapper played together.

-- I love the approach that AnnMaria De Mars, the mother of UFC fighter Rhonda Rousey, takes to her daughters' boyfriends. Until they marry into the family, she calls them all "Bob,'' because why bother to get to know them? I propose we do that with Bucs' quarterbacks. Until we finally find a good one, we call them all "Ned.'''

-- Okay, just to keep it straight:  Chris Sale's foot was crushed when he dropped a load on it while unpacking his truck. Josh Sale's career was crushed when the Rays dropped a load on it while unpacking their problems.

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