Random thoughts: Say hi to Flash Gordon for Jose

by Gary Shelton on December 13, 2015 · 0 comments

in College Sports in Florida, general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Lightning, Tampa Bay Rays

Hi, I'm Jose Canseco, and I think we should bomb the polar ice caps on Mars. And I think Battlestar Galactica was a documentary.

– If Johnny Manziel really is a frat boy, I think he's Neidermeyer.

– If he had it to do over again, Stu Sternberg wouldn't have to buy the Rays for $200,000,000. He could throw in $17 million more and sign David Price instead.

– Here's the problem I have with Richie Incognito as Comeback Player of the Year. I hate the neighborhood he came from.

– Know why Greg Schiano wanted to join Urban Meyer's coaching staff? For once, Schiano wanted to be referred to as “the fun one.”

– Well, he didn't get the free headphones, but Damontre Moore heard the Giants' message clearly. “You're fired.” Moore lost a $585,000 job because he wanted free headphones. Explain that one in the neighborhood, Damontre.

– If Steven Stamkos doesn't sign, might I assume that all of Tampa Bay will hit “unlike.” But not by accident.

– A headline in USA Today wonders if Adrian Peterson is the best running back in history. Quick answer: No. That's like wondering if the Ukraine is the best country on the planet.

– So by the time the Rays have a new TV contract, the Walking Dead will be ready to sit down and rest.

– In a rematch, Ronda Rousey thinks her lips will be a much stronger weapon against Holly Holm's foot.

– Before hiring on at Ohio State, don't you think Greg Schiano checked to make sure Josh Freeman didn't have any eligibility left?

– I say Pete Rose stays suspended until we finish the investigation into Chick Gandil.

– Aaron Rodgers has an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe. The way he's playing, I'll bet he has Princess Leia pigtails, too.

– If the Rays' budget gets any smaller, will they even be able to afford cable?

– Is it just me, or does everyone envision the Heisman Trophy winners at a nice dinner, and Reggie Bush peering in from outside?

– Just a hunch, but Heisman winner Derrick Henry will have a little more Earl Campbell to him and a lot less Ron Dayne.

– Congrats, Notre Dame. After 10 years, Charlie Weis is finally off the books. Looking back, he cost more than Million Dollar Baby, which came out the same year that Charlie ended.

– Would it have hurt the Heisman Committee to have invited Keenan Reynolds? Couldn't they find a chair for him?

– If you're wondering who should be favored in the vaunted Miami Beach bowl, consider this. According the Massey Ratings, Western Kentucky is 31st in the nation. USF is ranked 43rd.

– So Oscar Pistorius is pursuing a law degree. He'll need it, like the time that Matlock had to defend Matlock.

– Here's what we all want to know. After Ronda Rousey went to the Marine Ball with a lucky soldier, did she kiss his roundhouse kick?

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