Random Thoughts: Peyton gets to watch DirecTV

by Gary Shelton on November 22, 2015 · 0 comments

in College Sports in Florida, general, NFL

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hello. I'm Peyton Manning, and I'm staying my butt at home because I'm I've-been-benched-Peyton-Manning-cause-I-got-old. And I'm finally getting to use my DirecTV.

– I guess we can stop criticizing the SEC for playing weaklings, huh?

– I feel about Holly Holm the way I felt about the bicycle guy who came after Lance Armstrong.

– After watching the Gators' offense Saturday, I have a question: Can Will Grier appeal again? Just to be sure?

– When the Lions announced that Rod Wood was the new team president, I thought they meant Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones who, of course, would have been more qualified. And with more good years on his resume.

– It's amazing how many people were just waiting to criticize Ronda Rousey, who performed in a sport we used to watch.

– Is there anything in college football that makes you feel better than Urban Meyer losing?

– So how fierce would the competition for coach Charlie Strong be if he was, say, better than 4-6?

–  After former Buc running back Michael Bennett was arrested for nine counts of forgery for trying to rip off his girlfriend's parents, I had this thought: What if "Michael Bennett" was an assumed name?

– The Sporting News, which evidently hasn't been watching, blew it when it named Vinny Testaverde the worst-ever starting quarterback for the Bucs. Testaverde wasn't great, but how about Chris Chandler? Byron Leftwich? Jerry Goldsteyn? Jack Thompson? Randy Hedberg? Jeff Carlson? Bah, amateurs.

– Goodnight, Colin Kaepernick.

– One question about that plane pulling the “Hire Butch Davis'' banner: Who knew Butch Davis had his pilot's license?

– Do you think O.J. Simpson is looking forward to the upcoming TV movie about his trial? Or do you think it's spoiled because he knows how it ends?

– Some coaches drink from a silver goblet. Evidently, Nick Saban drinks from a tin horn.

– I know what they did on Miami vice. So what is Tiger Woods in charge of in his role as “vice captain'' for the Ryder Cup team? Vice?

– Here's a question: If the Bucs had stuck with Jon Gruden over the last seven years, how many games would he have won?

– Here's another: If the Bucs had stuck with Raheem Morris over the last four years, how many would he have won?

– Here's a third: If the Bucs had stuck with Greg Schiano over the last two, how many would he have won?

– While catching up on The Walking Dead reruns this week, I started wondering what happened to former NFL players. And lo and behold, I think I saw the slow, mindless Pat Burrell staggering after one of the survivors the other night.

– Speaking of yesterday's news, I don't quite understand it when Michael Sam says he wishes he had been undrafted so he could pick his team. Couldn't he do that when the Rams cut him? Or the Cowboys?

– This just in: The NFL has fined Carson Palmer $11,576 (because $11,575 wasn't enough) for a pelvic thrust in a celebration. In a related story, the estate of Elvis Presley owes the music word 879 billion dollars.

– The real reason that Cincinnati Bearcats coach Tommy Tuberville wouldn't let his players be interviewed after Friday night's loss? He was afraid the media would score three touchdowns and a field goal.

– Oh, I get it. Nick Saban is supposed to be able to schedule some pushover like Charleston Southern or McDonald's School of Hamburgerology, but we're not supposed to notice.

– In three years, in five years, in seven years, there are NFL teams you can imagine changing their fortunes. Then there are the Browns...and the Lions.

– Greg Hardy needs to listen to a little advice. But from Ray Rice? Isn't that like Aaron Hernandez getting tips from O.J. Simpson?

– I know Florida is ranked eighth in the country. But they were at best ninth on the FAU schedule, behind Tulsa, Miami, Buffalo, Rice, Marshall, UTEP, Western Kentucky and Middle Tennessee. You know, the teams that lost to FAU.

– A lot of people have different views of Ronda Rousey's loss to Holly Holm. You imagine this one was Rex Ryan's: “So Ronda...how did her foot taste? Really? Really?”

– Did you see where Derek Jeter denied giving gift baskets to women with whom he had encounters. I guess a McMuffin and cab fare will have to do.

– You know who would like Les Miles out at LSU (besides, evidently, the board of supervisors?) The other SEC coaches, that's who.

– If I still had a Heisman vote (long story), I'd vote for Navy's Keenan Reynolds. Period.

– Kevin Kiermaier is the platinum glove winner which, come to think of it, is kind of an underrated metal. Did you ever head of the platinum standard? Platinumfinger? The Solid Platinum Dancers? Still, it was nice to see KK win the Pt (the chemical element for platinum).

– In the new Bond movie, who plays the role of scheming spy and evil genius Bill Belichick?

Share with:Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: