Random Thoughts: Maybe baseball isn’t a risk

by Gary Shelton on March 29, 2015 · 0 comments

in general

Sunday, 6 a.m.:

Hi, I’m Bill Cosby. And let me tell you, those Pudding Pops are more effective than Viagra.

— Next time you worry about Jameis Winston pitching in the sixth, think of Tom Brady jumping off a cliff and Bill Belichick spewing his coffee. Brady just wanted to know what it was like to play behind the Bucs’ offensive line.

— I read where next year’s NFL free agents list may be loaded, including such players as Eli Manning, Philip Rivers, Sam Bradford, Von Miller, Ryan Kerrigan, Aldon Smith, Greg Hardy, Justin Thomas, DeMaryius Thomas, A.J. Green and Trent Williams. Also, there will be the annual availability of Anthony Collins and Michael Johnson.

— Boy, Kentucky’s players passed a big test Saturday night. The last test the Wildcats had that was that tough was when the players had to find the college library.

— Did you see where the Tampa Bay Rays were ranked as the 30th most valuable team in major league baseball? It would have been worse, but the leagues haven’t  expanded.

— That noted journalism professor Jimbo Fisher says that Jameis Winston was a victim of character assassination. I forget: Was it the sexual assault allegation or the stolen crab legs that newspapers should have ignored?

— Evidently, several NFL stars say they’ll block Darren Sharper’s entrance into the Hall. Now, I don’t consider Sharper a Hall of Famer even if he was a Boy Scout, but how exactly would current Hall of Famers block him? This just in: They don’t get a vote.

— Almost 20 years later, Shaquille O’Neal says he regrets leaving the Magic. The good thing? The team could still use him.

— Hulk Hogan says Wrestlemania is 1,000 times bigger than the Super Bowl. Right, and Rowdy Roddy Piper was bigger than Joe Montana.

— Marlon Wayans says that there is a job for Tim Tebow...on his 12-year-old son's team. That's funny. Of course, that team would go to the playoffs.

— Former Vanderbilt quarterback Patton Robinette is quitting the team to go to medical school. Former Florida quarterback Jeff Driskell transferred from his team, but not before he played a rousing game of Operation.

— Just wondering: Why isn’t this Aaron Hernandez trial the same kind of draw as the O.J. Simpson was. True, Simpson was the better player, but Hernandez was a current player for a better team. If only this trial had a racist cop, an ill-fitting glove and a slow white Bronco, and we’d be watching repeats.

— Madonna says if she were trapped on a desert island, she would prefer to be with Dennis Rodman over Vanilla Ice. “Besides,’’ Madonna said. “Dennis could always wear my clothes.’’ Now, that’s on the Greatest Hits album.

— The same woman has now had a child with both Matt Leinart and Blake Griffin. Anyone else wonder if she likes baseball?

— I see South Carolina has offered an eighth-grader a scholarship. I didn’t know the Gamecocks offered a Chutes-and-Ladders grant.

— Happy anniversary! O.J. Simpson went into the Hall of Fame 30 years ago. The Hall has had better days.

— I wonder if Ray Lewis thinks Aaron Hernandez is guilty.

— It turns out that the 49ers cut Jonathan Martin, too. When, exactly, did Richie Incognito become the San Francisco general manager?

— It would be nice if Tiger Woods was able to play in the Masters. The tournament is going to need someone to finish 47th.

— From now on, the Tampa Bay Lighting will refer to its power play as “the play.’’ Thank you.

— Good news for Lovie Smith. He makes the NFL.com top 20. Of course, he’s ranked among coaches behind Jason Garrett, Mike Zimmer, Caldwell and, I think, Billy Bob Thornton from Friday Night Lights.

— Tom Izzo blames his team's slow start the other day on seeing the movie Get Hard. Same thing happened to John Maddon, who has seen more of Will Farrell than he cares to see.

— If Warren Sapp is still looking for work, the Huffington Post might have the answer. I see they’re writing a Prostitute Tester in Germany. Think of it: He’d be like Frank Bruni, only with call girls.

— Yep, Kentucky won this one by the skin of Dick Vitale’s lips.

— Funny to hear that Giants’ coach Tom Coughlin has argumentative exchanges with his cell phone. I sympathize. If Siri could sue, I’d be under the jail.

— Remember when V. Stiviano was flirting with old boyfriend Donald Sterling? Now she says he was “a con artist, a cheat, a racist and a bigot.’’ I wonder if you can get all of that on love card.

— There is a new sport called footgolf. To be honest, a lot of us have played that way for years.

— Blue Jays outfielder Kevin Pillar was injured this week...by sneezing. No wonder they don't allow playing Pepper before the games.

— You might think that Kentucky is the best college basketball team ever. But I wonder what Lew Alcindor, Bill Walton, Kent Benson, Christian Laettner and Joakim Noah think.

— Best ballpark food? Here are a couple of entries. The Minnesota Twins are selling a bloody mary with an entire slice, of pizza in it.  And the Brewers have a dish where they serve taco meat and sticks and toast them with Doritos. Did Cracker Jack start this way?

— Why would anyone blame Michael Jordan for talking trash on the Space Jam set? That Bugs Bunny has a mouth on him.

— Alabama coach Nick Saban finished third in in the school's recent student government elections. Not to say it's a football school, but I hear Bear Bryant and Wallace Wade were 1-2. Former coach Mike Shula finished 17th.


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