Sunday, 4 a.m.
At this point, Keith Thurman is going to have plenty of belts to hold up his trousers.
– Like most of us, I would say Tiger Woods has major problems. But when David Feherty says the media is part of it, I spit out my coffee. Was that Woodward and Bernstein that made the guy hang out at Perkins waiting for a waitress to get off work?
– John Ross could have had an island if he wore the right kind of shoes during his combine 40-yard dash. Same thing happened to Gilligan.
– Tight end Adam Shaheen of Ashland University said his key to training (and gaining weight) was eating Chipotle burritos. Throw in a side of chips, and I'm John Mackey.
– Nick Mangold found out he was cut while on Space Mountain at DisneyWorld. Funny, considering it's the Jets, I would have figured it would have been the Hillbilly Bears.
– Helping themselves at the NFL Combine: John Ross, Brad Kaaya, Christian McCaffrey. Not so much? Reuben Foster, the medical guy who got into it with Foster. Supposedly, Foster pulled the old “Do you know who Iam?” act on the worker, who should have said “You're one of the guys who made Deshaun Watson a legend, right?”
– U.S. Soccer will require that players stand for the national anthem. No word on what they must do during the playing of Thunder Road, except thrust a fist into the air.
– The Big Show, probably not his real first name, says the reason that Shaq O'Neal is bowing out of Wrestlemania is “because he's afraid to put on Spandex and show the world that he looks like Jabba the Hutt.” Also, someone told him that wrestling was as easy as shooting a free throw, and we know the trouble that can cause.
– Jose Abreu said he ate a page out of his fake passport on a flight to Miami, which might have been the most tasty thing available on the flight.
– Some folks are upset that Leonard Fournette had a verticle jump of only 28.5 inches. That should seriously affect his rebounding ability in the NFL.
– You can wager on most aspects of O.J. Simpson's possible parole this summer. Among the bets is where he might go first: 1. In-and-Out Burger, 2. Red Lobster and 3. a brothel.
– Can the Falcons blame the Super Bowl results on Price-Waterhouse?
– Isn't it good that Monte Kiffin is going to move to South Florida, just in case he ever gets old?
– DNA tests this week discovered that Subway's chicken sandwich were only 50 percent chicken. Subway, in response, said that it's chicken was 100 percent chicken. Which is why you never trust an NCAA team on probation to conduct its own internal investigation.
– Meanwhile, there has been no response from Foghorn Leghorn.
– Say what you want about Tim Tebow. But I think it's a lot more admirable that he wants to adopt a child from every continent than, say, Ricky Williams, who wanted to smoke grass from all of them.
– Hope Solo's six-month suspension is over. We're waiting to see if the federation punishes her again for trash talk that most NBA players repeat, like, 40 times a night.
– If you remember, Solo said the Swedish team was more than 50 percent chicken.