Sunday, 6 a.m.
Hello, I'm Al Golden, and I have a question. How did they get an airplane to pull a banner over this column?
– USA Today ranks Sunday's Tampa Bay-Jacksonville game as the NFL's least-watchable game of the weekend, which is particularly harsh on a weekend when Cleveland plays Baltimore and Buffalo plays Tennessee. But, yeah, people in prison should be forced to watch.
– I can't wait for Jim McElwain to act like being in the Top 10 is no big deal. Remember, when the season started, the Gators weren't supposed to be in the SEC's Top 10.
– One of the people considered by the Dolphins to replace fired defensive coordinator Kevin Coyle? How about old Sgt. Hulka, former Bucs' coach Greg Schiano. The defense might not play better, but by golly, the pasta would be uniform.
– I watched Kareem Abdul-Jabbar play basketball, and I'm pretty sure a Sky Hook was just a shot. It wasn't a recruiting strategy for what-to-do on an airplane.
– I've given it a month. And I still think the new NFL extra point is stupid.
– I'm still pumped over the NHL's new three-on-three overtime. From now on, if a game is scoreless with five minutes to go, I'm pulling for the tie.
– In the end, Mark Richt always turns into the same guy, doesn't he?
– Shannon Sharpe says a lot. But when he's talking about about Antonio Gates, cheater, I agree with him.
– I think Charlie Strong can probably buy green bananas today.
– I think Al Golden shouldn't.
– I wish Greg Hardy could rap. Or act. Or dance. Anything but play football.
– I don't care what anyone says about Sean Rodriguez. That water cooler had it coming.
– Turns out, the NFL's arrest record is intact, after all. Despite reports that the league had its first month in 80 with no arrests, Tennessee's Dorial Green-Beckham was indeed arrested for an unpaid speeding ticket for going 10 miles an hour over the speeding limit. The outlaw!
– Seattle defensive end Michael Bennett says he holds the Kennedy assassination against Matt Stafford. That's fair. I still hold Mike Ditka responsible for Mrs. O'Leary's cow.
– Think it would be sad to be Josh Freeman, who passed for 32 yards, threw a pick and had five fumbles while playing for some team called the Brooklyn Bolts of the FXFL? Try being Jake Heaps. He's his backup.
– Ageless quarterback Matt Hasselbeck says he felt like Braveheart as he ran onto the field. Didn't they go to school together?
– Justin Bieber was rude when Ronda Rousey's younger sister wanted a photo. Which leads to the question: Someone still wants a picture with Justin Bieber?
– Suspending Sepp Blatter for 90 says strikes me a lot like giving Charles Manson a parking ticket.
– Terrell Owens offered to help the Philadelphia Eagles? What? Is he going to play for the Atlanta Falcons?
– Now it's Nick Faldo who says Tiger Woods is done contending in majors. In a related news, Faldo said that he doesn't think these new-fangled eight-track tapes will last.
– With the exchange rate, are the Blue Jays actually 2.7 games down in their playoff?
– Okay, what he said was offensive. But explain to me how Ty Cobb can be in the baseball Hall of Fame, and O.J. Simpson can be the Pro Football of Fame, but Hulk Hogan can't be in the pro wrestling/acting Hall of Fame?
– Brandon Weeden says he doesn't read twitter because he doesn't need a 12-year-old telling him how to play quarterback. The sad part is that a 12-year-old could.
– We've come to this. Jeb Bush, a candidate to be the leader of the free world, denies that he smoked marijuana with Bill Belichick in high school. If he had, of course, Belichick would have the video.
– The Rams, preparing for crowd noise, listened to the Macarena at practice. It's believed to be the first time that song has been played in 18 years. The Rams apologized, but no one had a copy of Mambo No. 5.
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