Hello, I'm Ronda Rousey. And why is everyone sending me flowers in the name of Floyd Mayweather? As I understand it, they don't want him to take me out, they want me to knock him out.
– Roger Staubach wouldn't have signed Greg Hardy. Ah, Staubach. That was a saner America...and a saner America's team.
– Roger Goodell isn't taking a chance on another Paul Tagliabue. When it comes to his Tom Brady suspension, no one else is taking air out of the balls.
– Know why Apple is working on a 12-inch Ipad? That way, Tyler Johnson can be actual size.
– Scott Skiles may coach the Magic? Isn't he still playing guard for them?
– Just wondering: Was Roger Goodell ticked when actual judges decided the Aaron Hernandez case?
– I still find it much more entertaining when Dan Jenkins turns 85 than when Tiger Woods shoots it.
– So, could the NFL have an entire division based in Los Angeles?
– The Bucs got only a B from ESPN for its offseason? I'd think you would get a B for dumping Anthony Collins, a gold star for dumping Michael Johnson and a sticker for dumping Josh McCown. Drafting the top player in the NFL draft should mean the principal's list.
– Marcel Darius of the Bills has been suspended for one game for doing drugs. I bet his mom is relieved he didn't deflate footballs instead. How would she tell the neighbors?
– I think it's throwing things against the wall to try to connect Jon Gruden and the Tennessee Titans, But if the two sides could work something out before the first game of the season, well, that would be worth seeing.
– I know Oscar Pistorius moves quickly, but can you believe there is already discussion to free him from prison for good behavior. What? Did he dispose of his soda can properly? If I'm in charge, those blades are going to have a little rust of them before I think about him in the fresh air.
– Michael Bennett compared playing for Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll to playing for Willie Wonka. Funny. He used to think playing for Greg Schiano was like spending time with Squidward.
– I see where Aaron Hernandez is sporting a new “Lifetime'' tattoo. Sure, it's a fine network, but wouldn't you think that he'd be more of a “Court TV'' guy?
– Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson has broken a finger while filming “IP man 3.'' If it was only IP Man 2, he would have just broken his career. Again.
– I don't know why everyone expected Roger Goodell to recuse himself from the Tom Brady appeal. When you watch an old western, do you expect that lynch mob to pick an arbiter at the last minute?
– Now that Aaron Hernandez is running low on money, does anyone else expect him to have a telethon?
– I see where the Tampa Bay Lightning is ranked 91st among the best paying teams in the world. The Bucs are 132nd and the Rays 133rd. Interesting factoid: The Buc players get paid as much as the Denver Broncos.
– Rae Carruth once made $40.000 a game playing for the Carolina Panthers. Now he makes 40 cents an hour as a prison janitor. I know what you're thinking. The guy is still overpaid.
– Love the Charlotte Stone Crabs' planned promotion of the “A-Rod Juice Box.'' On the juice box was “tainted records, inflated ego, omission from the Hall of Fame and more.'' The picture of Carmen Diaz was not included.
– Personally, I found Riley Curry a lot more interesting than her dad, Stephen.
– So Tennessee coach Butch Jones doesn't like it when they play Sweet Home Alabama at his practice. I guess Georgia on My Mind is out of the question.
– Louisiana Rain?
– See You Later, Alligator?
– Question: Why does Notre Dame continue to pay Charlie Weis more than $2 million not to coach? Answer: Because it's worth it.
– ESPN says the Tampa Bay Bucs have the 29th-best uniform in the NFL. And that's before all those cleatmarks showed up on the chest.
– Lovie Smith ranks ninth in Fox Sports' hot seat rankings of NFL coaches. Interestingly, he's behind Jeff Fisher, Chuck Pagano, Tom Coughlin, Marvin Lewis and Chip Kelly. Compared to those guys, Lovie is sitting on Old Sparky.
– Personally, I think Aaron Hernanez will be a model prisoner. If that model is Charles Manson.
– One interesting sidebar to NFL teams being more tempted to try for a two-point conversion: Here comes Tim Tebow.
– The way I understand it, it will be like the Count of Monte Cristo, only with shoulder pads. Ray Lewis said his book, due in October, will be a “searing'' acount of his “wrongful incarceration.'' I wonder if Herandez, Carruth, Pistorius and Simpson will get a free copy.
– I see where Milwaukee relief pitcher Will Smith was tossed out of a game for having rosin and sunscreen on his right forearm If Roger Goodell was in charge, we presume, he would be gone for a month.
– Did you see where Dan Jenkins said that Tiger Woods built his legacies by beating “nobodies.'' Jenkins said he'd be lucky to win another majors. On the other hand, the Mings didn't beat that many great tribes on their way to a dynasty, either.
– Yay for the University of Tokyo, which beat Hosei 6-4 last Saturday. Tokyo had not won a game in five years, which covered 94 games. Of course, it took extra innings.
– Two words from Jon Cooper for those who are thinking the Lightning needs to pull goalie Ben Bishop. First word: Asinine. Second word: Preposterous. And now we see if Bishop has a thesaurus.
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