Random thoughts: Eifert is goofy to miss Pro Bowl

by Gary Shelton on July 31, 2016 · 0 comments

in general

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hi, I'm Tyler Eifert, and I'm  never playing in the Pro Bowl again. I know, I know. That big trip to Orlando will be hard to miss.

– I wonder what Aqib Talib thinks of Dallas linebacker Damien Wilson missing time after getting shot...with a paintball gun.

– Jets' quarterback Geno Smith is annoyed that the Jets brought back Ryan Fitzpatrick. If I was Smith, I'd be upset I couldn't beat out Ryan Fitzpatrick.

– Silly Scot McCloughan. The Redskins' g.m. hurt his hand punching a wall. Doesn't he know that's why the team keeps Bruce Allen around?

– On NFL.com, Gil Brandt picked his favorites to lead the league in different categories. No Bucs were mentioned, but Doug Martin was “also considered” among rushing leaders. Lavonte David was considered in tackles.

– Matt Ryan says the Falcons can average 30 points a game. Given their defense, that should lead to a 7-9 finish.

– Tre Mason has cut off communications with the Rams, which the team should consider a good thing. Most of the team's communication are updates of his wanted poster: Four incidents in five months.

– Just wondering: Is Jerry Jones running the Russian track club?

– I know Bill Belichick is in a perpetually grumpy mood, but it's hard to blame him when a reporter continually asks him if there is any way that Jimmy Garoppolo would start ahead of Tom Brady in Game Five. No. Not even if Brady knocks over a liquor store and if Garoppolo invents a cure for cancer.

– The induction of Brett Favre into the Pro Football Hall of Fame begs this question. Has anyone ever come back after their bust was carved?

– If the Rays stay hot, I think they can get back in the AL East race by January. Of 2019.

– Nice headline in the New York Post: “Yankees' optimism smacked down in damning loss to Rays.” It isn't “Headless Man Found in Topless Bar,” but it was fun enough.

– Better guy: Josh Gordon or Dee Gordon. Discuss.

– Maybe the Olympics should let Russia in, after all. There hasn't been a team this hatable since Blofeld's.

– What was it like when Warren Sapp met his shark? Probably a lot like playing against Richie Incognito.

– If there really is such a thing as medical marijuana, I think that Ricky Williams may live forever.

– Poor Donald. Trump ripped the Democrats for saying they were rigging the debates by going against NFL games. But the Democrats didn't set the schedule, which were set a year ago. Then he said the NFL sent him a letter voicing their dismay. Not so, says the NFL. Well, oops.

– I chuckled at the response Bubba Watson's caddy had to his heckler. But did anyone else notice that a caddy gets to address hecklers face-to-face. If it was a quarterback, there would be a thousand hecklers.

– They fired the guys from Sesame Street? What? Did Oscar the Grouch take over?

– Athletes are complaining about no Pokemon Go in Rio. Me? I'd be the guy playing video backgammon.

– According to Pro Football Focus, the Bucs have the NFL's 18th best quarterback-wide receiver-running back combination. Behind Buffalo? Really? With quarterback Jameis Winston (4,000 yards), Doug Martin (second in the league) and Mike Evans (his second straight 1,000-yard season in an off-year)?

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