Random Thoughts: Cold, sober facts have FSU No. 1

by Gary Shelton on July 12, 2015 · 0 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Rays

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hello, I'm Jimbo Fisher. And this year, I'd like for FSU team to be the No. 1 team in the nation. Bar none.

– If Jason Pierre-Paul and C.J. Wilson need a role model right about now, I'd look to former Rams tight end Marlin McKeever. In 1966, McKeever was in a car driven by Roman Gabriel and lost the ring finger of his right hand in a car accident. He played seven more years in the league, although his receptions fell off.

– If you believe in the Richard Williams conspiracies that say he was deciding which daughter, Venus or Serena, was going to win major tournaments, then you have to ask this: Just how many might Serena have on her own?

– This just in: Mark Cuban refuses to accept the apology of DeAndre Jordan, who said he would sign with Dallas and then bolted to Los Angeles. In a further development, the United States refuses to accept the apology of Benedict Arnold.

– So if Greg Hardy had deflated footballs instead, he'd get the same punishment?

– Tom Flores says that if Kenny Stabler had played in New York, he would have been in the Hall of Fame 10 years ago. There's an idea. Let's move Stabler in and Joe Namath out.

– So what does Serena do with all of those Wimbledon plates. I mean, how much cheese can a woman serve?

– The furor caused by Sergiy Stakhovsky of the Ukraine when he griped that “one out of every two'' tennis players on the women's tour were lesbians reminds me of a story. Years ago, a Bucs' official asked me what I had heard about a safety from a state school. “Nothing much,'' I said. “Big hitter, a little slow.'' “I hear he's gay,'' the official said. “We'll, if that's true,'' I said, “I'd get him a date, because your safeties are horrible.''

– Some golfers, obviously those not named Tiger, want to catch Jack Nicklaus. Rory McElroy, unfortunately, wants to catch Pele. For goodness' sake, even that soccer-playing dog had tougher ankles.

– At some schools, passing the bar is a fundamental of law school. At FSU, it means the women might be unhurt for another day.

– A new study says Dolphins fansare the worst in the NFL. The Dolphins' fan club would complain, but it's Happy Hour.

– Just wondering: Did Mordecai “Three-Finger'' Brown play with fireworks?

– I see where Fox Sports named its five most underrated quarterbacks of the NFL, and they included Blake Bortles, E.J. Manuel and Ryan Tannehill. I thought for a second they were ranking the five most underrated players headed for the Arena League.

– Just wondering, if the Rays signed the Beatles, Elvis Presley and the Rolling  Stones...would any of them have ever had a hit?

– The rumor is that Caitlyn Jenner is currently dating fellow transgender Candis Cayne. And I am so confused it is pathetic.

– Sports Illustrated already has Jameis Winston as the 26th best starting quarterback in the NFL, and the guy has yet to throw a spiral. Of course, he's behind Blake Bortles, Sam Bradford and Jay Cutler, so Winston has some work to do before, oh, the first week of training camp.

– Former Buc Josh McCown, by the way, was 29th on the list, which is a horrible thing to say about Matt Cassell (32nd).

– Jimmie “J.J.'' Walker suggests that Bill Cosby has become “the O.J. Simpson'' of comedy. That's funny, coming from the Jamarcus Russell of humor.

– Former defensive Hugh Douglas says that Jason Pierre-Paul will lose a lot of his grip strength.

– The new fight song at FSU. Where Everybody Knows Your Game.

– One person who thinks Jason Pierre-Paul can be as good as ever is former 49er defensive back Ronnie Lott, who had the tip of his pinky amputated when he played. He still remembers the first glimpse he had of what was left. “It looked like E.T.'s head,'' he said.

– I hadn't noticed it before, but among the famous FSU alumni are Arthur (from the
Movie)Foster Brooks and Otis, the Mayberry town drunk. I also think we know where the Bandit was taking all that Coors. Party at the football dorm!

–  So the Marshawn Lynch movie will never be released. Why, oh, why, couldn't that have happened to Chariots of Fire?

 

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