Sunday, 5 a.m.
Say goodnight, Clemson.
– The Cleveland Browns plan a parade if they finish their season 0-16. So who's bringing the Underdog balloon which, frankly, should move to Cleveland.
– I see that Stephen Jones says Tony Romo would “be open” to being a backup. Call me silly, but when did Romo get a vote?
– Ric Flair, the former pro wrestling actor, voted … for Ric Flair for president. Whooo.
– When the Rams William Hayes says he doesn't believe in dinosaurs, he does know that Dino of the Flintstones wasn't a real one, right?
– The PGA Tour Event in Mexico was overrun by spider monkeys. Me? I like them, especially the one who outdrove John Daley.
– Say goodnight, Michigan.
– Former Bucs offensive-coordinator-for-two-minutes Jeff Jagozinski seemed to be applying for his old job when he sent out a tweet saying “let me know when you want to be relevant again.” Sure, Jags. Do you have Tom Coughlin's phone number?
– Chargers' running back Dexter McCluskey broke his forearm … while reaching for his cell phone. Fortunately, he had a phone nearby to call a doctor.
– I'll care about a Ronda Rousey fight when she takes on Hope Solo. Deal?
– The NFL wants players to stop talking about concussions...or sprained ankles...or sore knees...or dislocated pinkies. Got it?
– Tough day for the Tigers. Clemson loses, Auburn loses and Tony the Tiger was slapped silly by Captain Crunch. Also, Survivor was a lousy band.
– This could pick up ratings. Former No. 1 women's tennis player Jelena Jankovic changed her underwear at courtside. No word as to why, or whether superstition made her switch from black to white.
– Greg Oden says he'll be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history. I think Sam Bowie held the previous record.
–Say goodnight, Washington.
– This just in. Terrell Pryor says he thinks his Cleveland Browns can win seven straight and make the playoffs. This year. Which means it's time for the concussion doctors to go to work.
– Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers got a few write-in votes for president. Not that he should brag. He finished behind Harambe the gorilla, who frankly, might have been the best choice available.
– CBSSportsline.com gives the Bucs a 2.3 percent change of reaching the playoffs this year. So you're saying there's a chance?
– I forget. Did the U.S. Women's soccer team suspend Hope Solo because she was too interesting? I wouldn't have called the Swedish team “cowards,” but the truth is, they weren't exactly saving Pvt. Ryan.
– Say goodnight, Auburn.
– So, after all this time, Don Shula really is working for Donald Trump. The rest of us, too.
– Tracy McGrady, who had a cup of coffee with the Sugar Land Skeeters, says he would strike out Tim Tebow. McGrady had a 6.75 ERA, which means he wasn't striking out many. Of course, Tebow hit .156, so it's a coin toss.
– Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh says he loves SpongeBob. Funny, most college coaches (ahem, hi there, Nick) are more like Squidward.