Random Thoughts: Belichick picks a winner

by Gary Shelton on January 17, 2016 · 0 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hello, I'm Bill Belichick. And it would be much easier to believe that I was a genius if I didn't have my finger up my nostril.

– Doctors are going to examine Lawrence Phillips' brain. My guess it'll be in great shape, having never been used.

– Wow, Two thoughts about  last night's Cardinals-Packers game. One:  I don't care whether Brett Favre is up for the Hall of Fame or not. Aaron Rodgers is better. Two: I'd think a long time before I voted for anyone who isn't Carson Palmer for MVP.

– Heisman winner Derrick Henry got a second-round draft grade, which puts him in the back bin with Sabby Piscatelli, Dexter Jackson and Brian Price. On the other hand, Henry will get to make all those spiffy Heisman House commercials.

– Wouldn't you feel terrific if you were a St. Louis taxpayer still paying for the Edward Jones Dome, and only Edward is in the stadium?

–  Dirk Koetter's emotions got the best of him Friday. On the other hand, at least three former Bucs coaches have taken this job despite the tears.

– With some of the others, the tears belonged to the fans.

– Tom Brady says he's never had coffee. Which means that Trent Dilfer must have lived at Starbucks.

– Can we take the 49ers' hiring of Chip Kelly, an acerbic, know-it-all college coach, as an apology for firing Jim Harbaugh, an acerbic, know-it-all college coach?

– The Titans want a Buc to run their organization. The Ravens have hired two Bucs to coach their defense. Aren't game tapes available in the NFL these days?

– If Lovie Smith had returned, I felt the Bucs would draft a defensive end. It's a more valuable position in his Tampa 2, which asks for soft coverage from his corners. With Mike Smith, I think a cornerback may be more in play.

– Evidently, O.J. Simpson tried to call Bob Costas during the famous Bronco chase. No word on what Simpson wanted, but someone had to play Kato Kaelin in the TV series.

– If you're a Titans fan, you must feel great about the future. You have an ex-Buc as general manager and an ex-Jaguar as head coach.

– I see that a guy from England, Mike Shutton, wants popcorn banned at the movies. I'd settle for cell phones, talking and and outrageous ticket prices.

–  The University of Alabama will have a parade for its national championship team. The parade route will go from McDonald's , through the Dreamland Parking Lot, past the Bear Bryant Statue , circle the Dairy Queen twice and end up in  the Wal-Mart parking lot.

– Chandler Jones started days after smoking synthetic marijuana. Wes Welker was once benched for making fun of Rex Ryan's foot. Says a lot about Bill Belichick, I think, and a lot about Ryan's feet.

– Did the Lions and Titans see something no one else did in retaining Jim Caldwell and Mike Mularkey? Or have we officially run out of coaches?

– Consider this: 56 quarterbacks started for the 32 NFL teams this year. So there you have it. Josh Freeman is 56th!

– How come when I see the Arizona Cardinals play, and Bruce Arians coach, I feel a need for KFC?

– At what point of the Kansas City playoff loss did Marty Schottenheimer take over as coach?

– If I work in the NFL, I immediately try to steal some talent from the 49ers. Chip Kelley likes to give it away.

– Nationally, most publications don't seem crazy about the Bucs' hire of Dirk Koetter. Either they will be, or the Bucs will try it again.

–  Auburn's Tiger, a stuffed cartoon, won the national mascot championship. Ah, don't you miss those years when Charlie Weis, a stuffed cartoon, won it ever year?

– Did you read about driver Tony Stewart getting into a shoving match with a fan? Turns out, it was a member of the Tulsa Sheriff's office. By the way, Cpl. Kyle Hess ended up on his keister, which makes him Barney for a Day.

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