Sunday, 4 a.m.
Despite recent criticism that he doesn't surround himself with jesters and acrobats to liven up practice, Patriots' coach Bill Belichick says football is more about winning than having fun. To that end, the Patriots will continue to compete in the Conference USA division of the NFL, where six wins are guaranteed. What fun.
-- Just asking, but what's not fun about million dollar contracts, being idolized, winning and playing a game? Are the players supposed to break into a spontaneous game of Twister?
-- I don't know if Clay Matthews is following the Stanley Cup, but he just learned that softball has sort of a face off, too.
-- J.R. Smith, who dribbled away a chance to win Game One, joins Chris Webber, Jose Canseco and Roy Riegels in the brain-cramp Hall of Fame. Also, the makers of New Coke and those "scientists" who speak Dolphin.
-- Keep Pat Sajak. Bring on Vanna White.
-- One question. In the Finals of the NBA, in the championship series, in crunch time, how does a guy not know the score?
-- If I'm a Denver fan, I see storm clouds approaching in the name of Beth Bowlen Wallace.
-- So now Donald Trump, Roger Goodell and LeVar Ball say NFL players should stand? I think that would be enough to drive me to my knees.
-- According to the Sporting News, it's going to be a good bowl season for Florida schools. The website sees: Appalachian State vs. USF in the Autonation Cure Bowl, FIU vs Toledo in the Boca Raton Bowl, FAU vs. Houston in the Bad Boy Movers' Bowl, UM vs. Michigan in the Peach Bowl, Pitt vs. Florida in the Independence Bowl, FSU vs. LSU in the Belk Bowl and UCF vs. Stanford in the Fiesta Bowl.
-- If Peyton Manning really did take PEDs, as Al Jazeera reports, why doesn't he, you know, go slap them around some?
-- Drew Brees gave $264,000 for John Wooden's old jersey. I wonder how much he would give for Sam Gilbert's pen?
-- Did you see Nick Saban ran out of gas in his boat? What, you wonder, was he doing on a lake anyway? Personally, I think he was visiting Bear Bryant, who was out for a stroll on the water.
-- No, the sky isn't falling. That's just Mallex Smith, chasing another fly ball.
-- So former Eagles' receiver Freddie Mitchell found out that quarterback Donovan McNabb hated him ... because strippers told him so. Oh, so I now I understand the purpose of those bars.
-- CBSsports.com gives the Bucs' an A for their off-season. While it's obvious that Tampa Bay addressed a lot of needs, I think I'll wait until the shoulder pads come on to give the tests back.
-- Here's one way LeBron James has passed Michael Jordan. Before Game One, he wore a suit with shorts. But that wasn't the odd part: he also carried a $41,000 purse ... um, shoulder bag -- into the arena.
-- All I know is that the Golden Knights need more Moe Greene and less Wayne Newton.
--Marco Rubio, whose name evidently hasn't been in the papers enough, is picking the Cleveland Browns to make next season's Super Bowl. Which is the kind of logic that keeps a man at a distance from the White House.
-- Curt Schilling, it turns out, is a big Roseanne fan. No word yet on how he feels about Mussolini.
-- Maybe J.R. Smith thought the basket was going to come to him.
-- The list of things the Orlando Magic has to do is lengthy. It has to draft poorly, develop wretchedly, hire bad assistant coaches and prepare to lose once again. Also, it has to make up a banner saying it won the national championship.
-- Here's what we don't know about the NFL's new kneeling policies: How far will it go in dealing with resistant players? It says it will take away money, but will it take away playing time? And how will the fans feel about that? This isn't going away.
-- He had a good day at the Memorial, but here's a question: Has Tiger Woods become the Danica Patrick of golf?
-- I don't know about you, but I can't wait for the latest episode of The Godfather in which the Don rejects Seigfrield and Roy falls in love with hockey.
-- This will amuse you. There is no doubt that Chris Simms had some parts of his game that drove Jon Gruden crazy. But now Simms says that Gruden wouldn't stop calling him on his Italian honeymoon, evidently to whisper poetry so he could repeat it. Sadly, it didn't help his game.
-- Who is the Mets' fireman of the year? Probably the guys who doused the flames at CitiField over the weekend. Sometimes, life makes it's own metaphors.
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