Random Thoughts: Arrival of a young hot dog

by Gary Shelton on February 14, 2016 · 0 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Lightning, Tampa Bay Rays

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Shouldn't I be outraged instead of so amused? Shouldn't I be the old grump talking about how even professional hot dogs have influenced the kids?

Well, maybe later. Right now, I'm too busy laughing at the Cleveland-area teen who a) shot an imaginary arrow after scoring; b) made a phone call while playing; c) removed his shirt after scoring; d) scored 14 goals one game with a three-goal limit; d) sat on the opposing team's bench; e) ran into the goal while hiding the ball in his shirt; f) changed jerseys after receiving a red card and trying to continue to play; g) ate a banana on the field; h) wore a Natural Lite t-shirt instead of his game uniform and I) simulated giving birth to the soccer ball after scoring. The kid is the Bad News Bears all by himself.

Yep, he may not have a future in soccer, but he's in great shape to be a politician.

– By the way, who was the coach here? Raheem Morris?

– Could Peyton Manning become an aging star in Los Angeles without another big show in front of him? Hey, it worked for Nora Desmond. And Jack Nicholson. And Meryl Streep.

– I've seen two early power rankings for the NFL for 2016. The Bucs were 23rd in both of them. I think they let you watch the wild card games on TV if you're in the top 24.

– When was this headline written: “NFL fines Aqib Talib?” Oh, anytime between 2008 and the present.

– I was shocked to read that Dwight Howard might be traded. Who knew that Howard was still a player?

– I understand why Jason Licht is apprehensive about free agency, where every nickel's worth of talent charges about $30. But when you have as many holes as the Bucs, how are you going to fill them all with the draft? My advice: I'd sign all the Hardy Nickersons and not sign all the Michael Johnsons.

– Tom Brady got two write-in votes in the New Hampshire primary. Wonder how many he would have gotten if he wore a dead mammal on his head and insulted the world?

– Turns out, Delmon Young wasn't an offensive threat. Just offensive.

– I feel bad for ex-Bear Matt Forte. Really I do. But I can't quite buy that the Bears owed him a contract. For how long? Five years? For how much? Thirty million? At those prices, it just doesn't make sense.

– There's a lot of crying and whining at Cam Newton's house these days? Some of it is his newborn son, I understand.

– Things to make you feel old: There have been 30 years of Michael Jordan basketball shoes. Just think. You could have all 30 version. Or you could have a house? Your choice.

– Kentucky coach John Caliper lasted all of 2:29 Saturday. It took longer to knot his tie.

– According to Bleacher Report, FSU will win 11 games in 2016. Miami will win nine. Florida will win seven.

– Jim Harbaugh spent more than $10,000 per day in his first season as Michigan's football coach in 2015. Ah, the high price of sort-of success.

– The interesting part about Rod Woodson joining Sunday's NFL Countdown? It means that Peyton Manning won't be. What? Did they use the Heisman voting to determine their next host?

– I understand that Johnny Manziel wants to be the next quarterback to star in the Longest Yard. I just think the team can do better.

– Giveaways I'd like to see: A Brad Boxberger bobble-arm.

– ESPN includes receiver Vincent Jackson on its list of players who need a change of scenery, noting that he had only 543 yards after four straight seasons of more than 1,000. The site does not explain that he started only nine games — same as Peyton Manning -- due to injury. Kind of seems worth mentioning, huh?

– Bleacher Report doesn't believe in the Rays. It has them at 80-82 and fourth place again the AL West. Which begs the question: Is the window officially closed?

– In a related article, the Boston Globe ranks Joe Maddon as the No. 1 manager in the game. Kevin Cash is 19th.

– Tiger Woods wants to take the Ryder Cup team fishing. That way, they can find his lost balls.

– I wonder if Alex Rodriguez saw Jenrry Mejia got a lifetime ban for PEDs. A-Rod tried so hard.


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