Random Thoughts: Dolphins to ax another coach?

by Gary Shelton on October 4, 2015 · 0 comments

in general

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hello. I'm Charlie Strong, and the eyes of Texas are upon me. Soon, the toes of the boots will be, too.

– Steve Bartman has declined an offer of fans to attend the Cubs' first playoff game. So the Cub outfielders are on their own.

– Turns out, Don Shula really was irreplaceable. Jimmy Johnson? Dave Wannstedt? Cam Cameron? Tony Sporano? Nick Saban? Joe Philbin? Who's picking this guys? George Wilson Jr.?

– With the Dolphins playing in London, here's a true story. Before the Bucs played one of their games over there, I wrote a humorous column suggesting that after all England had given us, the Beatles and Shakespeare and James Bond and Robin Hood, this was how America repaid them. The lofty Times of London picked up the column – and inserted a half-dozen graphs I never wrote about how how Tom Brady should quarterback any team in London right in the middle of it. We never did that to Shakespeare. Dodgy, chaps. Dodgy.

– Do you think O.J. Simpson was proud of the fact no NFL player was arrested during September?

–When I see members of an Arizona State sorority taking selfies at a baseball game, I kind of think that Scream Queens has a good idea.

– I have one question about Nancy Kerrigan returning to “Halloween on Ice.” Does Tanya play Jason?

– There is this: Lee Corso is corny and dated and can lose his train of thought. And I laugh every time something comes out of his mouth.

– You know the papers that Humphrey Bogart was after in Casablanca? Maybe it was toilet paper. Turns out the Jets are taking 350 rolls of it with them for their trip to England. That breaks down to almost five rolls per member of the organization.

--There is a new ad for the President's Cup that has golfers turning into cartoon super heroes. There was a version with Tiger Woods, it seems, but he kept turning into...Urkel.

– So I guess the phrase “hook shot” has a different meaning on the Louisville basketball team?

– Irving Fryar was sentenced to five years. Wait until Lawrence Phillips sees him! Oh, the fight songs they will sing!

– Von Miller was fined for his sack dance because of the pelvic thrusts involved. Didn't Elvis have the same problem?

– An LGBT organization wants teams to stop hazing rookies by dressing them in women's clothing. But isn't that how Caitlyn Jenner got her start?

– I don't know if any woman alive can beat Ronda Rousey, but if there is one, I'm betting on Hope Solo.

– Who says that America doesn't export enough products. Why, Sunday, the team will export Joe Philbin there.

– I like the idea of Jerry Seinfield in the Mets' broadcast booth. Or in left field, for that matter.

– Ronda Rousey could be a superhero in a Marvel comic book movie. Wouldn't it be cool if Floyd Maywether was the bad guy? You know, like in real life.

– The Texas Rangers canned an employee for tweeting that it was time to fire Charlie Strong as head coach of the Longhorns. Is this really how the story of the Lone Ranger began?

– If the Bucs don't really want to play two games out of Tampa, why push for it? Isn't that like insisting on land shark insurance when there are no land sharks?

– I wonder what Greg Brindza thinks of Josh Scobie.

– What do you know? He's still Nick Saban. And, yeah, he's still Mark Richt.

– Am I the only guy tired of reading stories that brag that, despite their arrests, NFL players are arrested at a lower percentage than the general populous. Just saying, but I would wager the average player is arrested more often than millionaires with attorneys on speed dial.

– I assume that Suzy Favor Hamilton was a huge fan of the Louisville Cardinals.

– Saturday was the 20 year anniversary of the O.J. Simpson verdict. I wonder if he'll get cupcake privileges.

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