Sunday, 6 a.m.
-- Hi, I'm Jamies Winston, and I'm here to tell you not to worry about the reports about my shoulder. Turns out, it's just an old B.B. gun wound.
-- So the problem isn't that the Seahawks are talking to Marshawn Lynch. The problem is that he is expected to talk back.
-- As it turns out, Warren Sapp gave $600 to the Phoenix prostitute. That's a pretty hefty bonus for a sack. Are we sure he wasn't paying for a season ticket?
-- The Tampa Bay Rays found a few boxes of old Manny Ramirez bobblehead dolls? It's the perfect gift if you already have Pat Burrell, Vinny Castilla and John Rocker in your collection.
– Did you hear where self-proclaimed celebrity Amber Rose said that Kloe Kardashian's dad is O.J. Simpson. What are the odds? Now, Bruce Jenner is going to be her mom?
-- So it sounds as if the NFL is focused on a faceless locker room attendant as the ringleader of the deflategate. Just guessing, but I imagine he made more than $600.
-- A news item says that Kelly Renee Gissendaner, the only woman on Georgia's Death Row, wants this as her final meal: cornbread, buttermilk, two Burger King Whoppers with cheese and all the trimmings, two large orders of French Fries, cherry vanilla ice cream, popcorn and lemonade. She also wants a salad with boiled eggs, tomatoes, bell peppers, carrots and cheese topped with Paul Newman's buttermilk biscuits. And you know what. It still won't cost nearly $600.
– Does baseball really need to be on fast forward? I'm not saying the new rules to speed up the pace of the game is overdoing int, but I do wonder if commissioner Rob Manfred is trying to get home in time to watch Scandal.
-- Oh I guess it's okay then, A-Rod.
– A big of graffiti left on the windshield of Kurt Busch reads simply “Ray Rice,'' another famous domestic abuser. Sadly, the graffiti is going to have be continued on every car in the nation.
-- So Josh McCown left Buffalo without a contract? With Richie Incognito there, I imagine he left without his watch.
-- According to stats, Florida State was the luckiest team in college football last year. In fact, it was the luckiest team in the 17 year history of the data, says David Wunderlich of an SEC blog. In the NFL, the luckiest team was the Bucs. I mean, how did those guys win two?
-- United States' weightlifter Holley Mangold has tattooed the Olympic Rings on her forehead. Let's see: Gold is for first, silver is for second. Oh, yeah, and human flesh is for 13th.
-- I'm not sure who the real killer was in the O.J. Simpson case, but I'm betting it turns out to be a locker room attendant.
– Jack Nicklaus says Tiger Woods' problem is all between his ears. Funny, it started between the sheets.
– The other day, Yankees manager Joe Girardi was talking about improving the team's woeful offense. He mentioned Carlos Beltran, Mark Teixeira, Brian McCann, Jacoby Elsbury, Brett Gardner and Didi Gregorius. He did not mention three-time MVP Alex Rodriguez, who has 654 career homers. He didn't mention Babe Ruth, who is history too.
-- We can't be sure what sounds the Atlanta Falcons were piping into the Georgia Dome, but you can feel fairly certain that it wasn't tapes of old Marshawn Lynch interviews.
-- The Rams, Raiders and Chargers all want to be the team in Los Angeles. Could you get a team from the bunch of them?
-- Here's the thing I want to know. What could the Cleveland Browns' coaching staff have learned from a text message from the general manager, anyway? How to draft Johnny Manziel?
-- So Adrian Peterson has asked to be traded to the Cowboys. The Vikings wanted Peterson back, but as it turns out, the guy is a big fan of switching.
-- Hope Solo has been reinstated. What was that? A month? Hockey players spend more time in the penalty box.
-- With Winston getting comparisons to Peyton Manning already, you have to ask. Would 4,891 pizza commercials and one Super Bowl ring be enough?
-- I know: Why don't the Yankees pay Rodriguez in phony money to match his legacy?
-- If baseball really wants to speed up the game, everyone should trade away Yunel Escobar.
-- The next Bond villain? The Patriots locker room attendant, Oddjob.
-- The Bills want him. The Browns are interested. So are the Bears. So couldn't the Bucs have gotten anything for Josh McCown? Oh, that's right. Luke.
– The Sporting News ranked all the Super Bowls in order. Sadly, Super Bowl XXXVII, the one won by the Bucs, ranked only 44th. For winning it, the Bucs' players each received $63,000, which translates into 150 Phoenix "breakfasts,'' right, Warren?
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