Random thoughts: bolts trophies a sad reminder

by Gary Shelton on May 5, 2019 · 0 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Rays

Sunday, 3 a.m.

Elsewhere, a nice little individual award might be of some comfort to fans. Around here, not so much. So when you see that Nikita Kucherov is a finalist for the Hart Trophy, and John Cooper for the Jack Adams, and Victor Hedman for the Norris, and Andrei Vasilevskiy for the Vezina, you can think of them this way. They’re the salt-in-the-wound awards. Together, they’re just a reminder of what a cosmic flop this team put out in the post-season.

— Maximum Security shouldn’t think of it as a disqualification. He should just think that a Country House fell on him.

–Hey, if Goliath was talking to the guys from the Spanish Armada, they’d talk about what an embarrassment the Bolts were.

— Does anyone else suspect that Colin Cowherd and Baker Mayfield are in cahoots to keep both of their names in the headlines? I’m not sure either guy is worth the oxygen he uses up.

— David Price is wrong. It isn’t that the baseballs have more juice. It’s that Price’s arm doesn’t have as much.

— According to TheBigLead.com, Bruce Arians is the 24th best coach in the NFL, one behind the Raiders’ Jon Gruden. Before you get in an uproar, Detroit’s Matt Patricia is 21st. Now you can get in an uproar.

— I’m no dance judge, but Ryan Shazier’s steps at his wedding video made me smile. It was 80 percent that the dude wouldn’t walk again.

— The way I figure it, Matt Gay needs to make his first kick so no one — including Roberto Aguayo, says “here we go again.” He needs to make his second to assure everyone that he isn’t Peter Rajecki. He needs to make his third to stop the Bill Capece jokes. He needs to make his fourth so we don’t think Kyle Brindza has come back. He needs to make his fifth so we don’t all yell at Jason Licht. You can keep this going, but suffice it to say that Gay needs to hit his first 52 field goals or so.

— A lot of jokes about comparing the Kentucky Derby to the Saints-Rams playoff game. The difference is that this time, the thoroughbred lost.

— My old buddy Wally Matthews used to say that the Kentucky Derby was the best event any of us covered, because we were done so early in the day and had the rest to goof off. But I would point out we were in overcrowded town in a crappy hotel where you couldn’t get into restaurants because of all the fans and all the men smoked cigars and the women wore funny hats (and sometimes, the other way around). I still remember a letter I wrote griping about the media hotel one year. They sent me a certificate for a free night. I wrote back and said “You don’t understand. If the Russians are dropping bombs, and you’re the only fallout shelter in town, I still won’t stay at that dump.”

— I’m not saying the name of the joint, but it rhymes with “Bollyday Inn.”

— So when your neighbor carves “Go Mets” in your lawn, your wife isn’t allowed to talk?

— Derek Jeter isn’t happy with the Marlins. On those few minutes out of the year when I remember the Marlins still exist, I’m not happy with them either.

— According to TheBigLead.com, the four favorite trade destinations for Gerald McCoy are Cleveland, Atlanta, Seattle and New England. Do you want to see the Bucs try to outsmart any of those guys?

— I would make a wise-guy comment about Mary Gregory, the transgender weightlifter who broke four records in one meet. But I’m afraid she’d beat me up.

— Quick quiz: What is your No. 1 concern about the Rays? 1) Blake Snell’s struggles; 2. That the hitting will disappear; 3) That the bullpen will be overused; 4. That Pat Burrell will show up again.
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— It’s nice that Joe Theismann gave Dwayne Haskins permission to wear No. 7. But if you think about it, does Theismann really own the number? He just wore it for a few years.

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