Sunday, 6 a.m.
Hi. I'm Les Miles, and I can turn your cat into a rabbit.
– And I'm the University of Michigan, and I can turn a party into a wake.
– Considering the fear that Lamar Odom might have brain damage, can we get a group rate for all of the Kardashians?
– There for a while, I was afraid that Joe Maddon was having a flashback where he was in charge of the Rays' offense again.
– It's a good thing the Bucs had the week off. That way, they can practice not trying to score before halftime.
– Rodney Harrison says that Robert Griffin III has failed “because he's a jerk.” We will now back the truck up the Hall of Fame doors so that half of them may go home.
– If you missed what Buffalo's Sammy Watkins had to say, here is a summation. “Wah. Waaah. Waaah.”
– Here's a stupid list. The Sporting News ranks Jameis Winston as the third-best ACC quarterback of the last 15 years, behind Clemson's Tajh Boyd and N.C. State's Philip Rivers. Not being a homer, but which of the three won a national title? Which of the the three won a Heisman? Which of the three was the No. 1 overall draft pick? A recount, anyone?
– Love the Deflate Cakes made by an Indianapolis bakery. Maybe they could make one with a 45-3 scoreboard. Just saying.
– Is it just me, or is the charm wearing off of the Johnny Maziel story like, really fast.
– In case you're asking, yeah, Ben Bishop is better than Marc Denis, too.
– In a ranking of the NFL stadiums, Raymond James came in 16th. It would have ranked higher, but it hosts the Bucs.
– When did Garo Ypremian become the punter for Michigan?
– You know, maybe Will Grier would have helped the Gators. He could have yelled “Watch them lateraling to the nerd kicker!”
– I keep saying this. I've been to a million ballgames in my life, and never once did I dress up like it's Halloween.
– Item One: Cam Heyward was fined for writing a tribute to his late father, who died of cancer, when he wrote “Iron Head'' in his eye black. This is shortly after the league informed Carolina's DeAngelo Williams that he wouldn't be able to honor his mother my wearing pink trim on his uniform. Is it just me, or now that the courts aren't slapping the NFL around, there just isn't enough for league officials to do?
– Question for Michele Wie: When you're eating the live squid in South Korea, do fries come with that?
– I wonder what Don Mattingly thinks of Rob Lowe's new sitcom?
– Lindsay Lohan wants to be president. Didn't Donald Trump always make that joke?
– USA Today ranks Jon Gruden as only ninth of all the Monday night football announcers. On the other hand, he's better than O.J. Simpson, who was 18th (last).
– I'm sorry, but I can't help but think that someone in the Kardashian house thought Lamar Odom's problems would make a really cool episode.
– So let me get this straight: Joe Montana, who played a bit of quarterback in his day, doesn't get to have an opinion on Deflategate. But Hiram Ogelsby, fan boy, does?
– Now Jerry Rice says he didn't use Stickum, after all. Right. It was Crazy Glue.
– Where did J.J. Watt get that Batman costume he wore for the kids? His closet, of course.
– As far as Ronda Rousey's Pokemon, I have no idea.
– Sammy Sosa says he wants to throw out the first pitch if the Cubs make the World Series. Just think: Sosa throwing the old pill instead of swallowing it.
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