Sunday, 5 a.m.
I thought it was amusing that Roger Goodell's wife Jane had a secret twitter account to defend him. What are the odds she has a second secret twitter account she uses when he doesn't clean up the bathroom?
– I never thought Chris Foerster was much of a line coach. I just didn't know all the lines he was coaching. You'd think as much as he liked the white powder, his teams would have gotten more first downs.
– Now that we've voted in one president from “The Apprentice,” Mark Cuban wants us to vote in one from “The Shark Tank.” Can't we just, you know, swim in the Shark Tank instead?
– Mike Ditka says there has been “no oppression for 100 years.” Wow. Some houses just don't have windows, do they?
– I can't make up my mind. Do my eyes hurt because o the Gators' uniforms ... or because of their offense? I mean, there is nothing worse than an inoffensive team whose a.d. dresses them funny.
– After three years, the NCAA has dropped all charges against North Carolina because North Carolina couldn't find academic fraud this time. Which makes you wonder if the NCAA is doing its homework.
– Fair warning: I don't know how it works at Oregon State, but if a fired coach who knows who I am and texts me to throw his coaches under the bus, you're darned right I'm going to use it. Why wouldn't you?
– After an 118-year investigation, the NCAA has dropped all charges into its investigation into Butch and Sundance, because Butch and Sundance couldn't find any evidence of robbing trains. What a couple of Heels.
– A-Roid says that steroids cost him $40 million and a slot in the Hall of Fame. Man, that's an expensive butt-needle,
– The discussion is all about whether Dallas' Zeke Elliott is allowed to play or not. But don't forget it started because of domestic violence accusations. Does anyone think that Goodell wants a star suspended?
– The Sporting News says the Bucs, picking 20th, will take Clemson offensive tackle Mitch Hyatt. That's one pick after New England takes pass-rusher Arden Key. One question, though. The Bucs drafting after New England?
– Walterfootball.com (you can call me Walt), on the other hand, thinks the Bucs are going to get chubbier. The site sees Tampa Bay taking N.C. State defensive end Bradley Chubb in the first round and Georgia running back Nick Chubb in the second.
– The U.S. Soccer team, all fifty states worth, has been eliminated from the World Cup by Trinidad and Tobago A&M.
– In a burst of insight, Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall says NFL owners are worried about player protests during the anthem because they're worried about money? You think? That's like saying players — most of who say this has nothing to do with the flag or the military — are protesting then because they get more attention. All together now: duh.
– Tampa Bay commissioner Ken Hagan says he's less confident than ever that Hillsborough County and the Rays can find a financial agreement. Which makes me wonder: Are we doing this all wrong? Do you go house hunting without knowing the price? I've never been convinced that there is money waiting for the Rays.
– Didn't you used to be Kwon Alexander? I like Alexander, but he's in danger of winning the Matt Duffy Award.
– As someone who was there when the Tampa Bay Lightning opened their season at Expo Hall, I salute the franchise. I'd throw my hat on the ice, but I'd get kicked out.
– Why is Ronda Rousey interested in pro wrestling. Why, for the Fabulous Moolah, of course. And I don't mean the former wrestler.
– Some site called pressboxvip.com, where the requirements to write evidently do not include actually seeing a game, listed their 10 worst quarterbacks to ever win a Super Bowl. It listed ex-Bucs' quarterback Brad Johnson at No. 6. Look it up. Johnson outplayed Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb and league MVP Rich Gannon to win the trophy. Typical idiocy. The lazy writer saw Johnson didn't have a superstar career and jugheadedly decided he didn't deserve a ring. The writer, one supposes, just turned 11.
– Also on the list were Doug Williams (2), Trent Dilfer (9) and my personal favorite, Pittsburgh quarterback Terry Bradshaw. Uh, numbskulls. Bradshaw only fluked his way to four rings.
– You want a contender? How about Hall of Fame quarterback Bob Griese, who attempted only seven passes against Minnesota?
– The best part about Dabo Swinney of Clemson losing is that he doesn't do it very often. Still, it was nice to see a class guy's reaction.
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