Random thoughts: Who should the Rays bring back?

by Gary Shelton on October 1, 2017 · 4 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Rays

Sunday 4 a.m.

It's a shame that Hugh Hefner, the greatest offense in history (he always scored), has died. I say we all wear pajamas to mourn.

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Lucas Duda?

–  Takkarist McKinley of the Falcons lost a dread on the field last week. This week, he saw it on eBay for $51. Yes, I have a birthday coming up, but I have all the hair I need. Especially someone else's.

–  Is it just me, or would it be nice if Flo the insurance salesperson would slap Larry the Dr. Pepper guy, like, hard?

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Logan Morrison?

– I understand the NFL protests. I just roll my eyes, however, when Reggie Bush says that Colin Kaepernick is being blackballed. According to Bush, Kaepernick is “better than every NFL backup quarterback and some starters.” Reggie, Kaepernick won one game last year and two the year before. How many starting quarterbacks survive winning three games in two years. Of course, Bush didn't have the best vision when he played, did he?

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Brad Miller?

–  I hope Odell Beckham was amused as he pantomimed a dog urinating last week as a celebration. It cost him $12 thousand. That's a lot of Alpo.

–  On the other hand, why doesn't Georgia ever fine Uga?

–  Question: Should the Rays bring back Adeiny Hechavarria?

–  Did you see where Florida doesn't want O.J. Simpson after he's paroled. After Danny Rolling, Ted Bundy and Aileen Wuornos, we've suffered enough. I know. Let's move him to the Nebraska part of Florida.

– Now, this makes sense. The new trend in the NFL, it seems, is to kneel before the Anthem, then stand during it.Who has a problem with that? (Second choice: Standing on your heads during the coin flip).

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Evan Longoria?

– Suspended Gators: Nine. Felony charges: 62. Cost: More than $19,000. Affect on the Gators' season: Priceless.

–  Tennessee coach Butch Jones thinks the media is too negative. Right. I think the media should have stressed how the Vols almost covered the Gators' Tyrie Cleveland.

–  You know, if you look at the scoreboard long enough, there is a perfection to the "0" the Vols scored against Georgia (while giving up only 41!). So round. So perfect.

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Corey Dickerson?

– If they ever remake Hogan's Heroes, wouldn't Rick Pitino make a marvelous Sgt. Shultz? “I know nosssssink.”

– I read where Kirk Cousins makes $24 millions but still lives with his parents in the off-season. Which makes me wonder. Do you think my 22-year-old daughter secretly has a $24 million job she isn't telling me about?

–  Question: Should the Rays bring back Kevin Kiermaier?

– A lot of fans want to see Chicago bench Mike Glennon for Mitch Trubisky. On the other hand, so does Ryan Leaf. That'll make you think that maybe you're in too big a hurry.

– Did you hear about the kid who went into a Gamestop wearing a Colin Kaepernick jersey and had two members of the Washington Redskins (Keith Marshall and Rob Kelley) buy him an X-Box. I'll be back later. I'm off to the BMW store wearing my new Kaepernick jersey.

Question: Should the Rays bring back Steven Souza Jr.?

– This is not a joke. In a proposed movie, Bill Murray has been discussed to star as Joe Maddon. What's the movie called? Curse-busters?

– Did you read where former UConn coach Jim Calhoun has unretired to coach Saint Joseph. The NCAA immediately launched an investigation.

– It's sad when the Chicago Bears can't even handle a tweet from Butterfinger candy. After one barb, the Bears replied "Stick to football." And Butterfinger came back with "Stick to football. Oh...wait." Remind me to buy a Butterfinger today.

– Rick Pitino would know this, but who is the last guy to know less about his program's rule-breaking? I'm guessing it's Vito Corleone.

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Chris Archer?

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