Sunday, 4 a.m.
Derek Carr says he'll give Marshawn Lynch the ball at the one-yard line. Good call. Sadly, the Raiders are still about 43 yards, metaphorically, from winning a Super Bowl.
– Magic Johnson says he foresees a day when the Lakers retire a Ball jersey. Huh. I didn't know Lucille meant that much to the franchise.
– Of course, Lonzo Ball's fans can always buy a replica jersey for just $1389.99.
– Gene Simmons wants the rights to the hook 'em horns sign at the University of Texas. Longhorn fans have a different gesture in mind.
– This week, five players went ahead of Jonathan Isaac in the NBA draft. The last time Isaac was in Orlando, eight players scored more than he did. Isaac had eight points in an upset loss to Xavier, the school named after the leader of the X-Men.
– Marcellus Bennett says that Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback he's ever played with, and Tom Brady is No. 2. No word whether Jay Cutler was upset at the rankings.
– I hear that Dolphins' coach Adam Gase called Peyton Manning last year after Ryan Tannehill was hurt. Evidently, Gase really, really wanted to play in the Citrus Bowl.
– Yardbarker ranked the NFL divisions and decided that the NFC South was only fourth. I still don't think any division has four quarterbacks that measure up, though.
– In something called Sports Analytics Research, the deep-thinkers have pronounced the Bucs' fans as the 25th-best in the league. Oh, yeah? You try watching Vinny Testaverde, Trent Dilfer and Josh Freeman. I think such reports need to add just what these fans are watching.
– Draymond Green was upset that he had to heard about the Warriors' second-round pick on the internet. Bob Myers, the real general manager when Greene isn't around, was going to tell him as soon as he made Green's lunch.
– Think it's been a long time since the Bucs won the Super Bowl in January of 2003? Ha. That trophy still has the price tag on it. Consider that Foxsports.com points out that the Cardinals haven't won a title since 1947. The Lions haven't won one since 1957. The Eagles haven't won since 1960. The Titans were the Oilers when they won the AFL in 1961. The Falcons, Vikings and Bengals have never won one.
– So if the Green Bay Packers have third-down-and-40, and a wide receiver smuggles a Corvette onto the field, and they really need to throw the ball through the window, I guess Brett Hundley gets the call.
– The Chargers, the Bills, the Jets and the Brown haven't won since the Beatles broke up. Talk about a long and winding road.
– More Russians? Are the Lightning trying to be Donald Trump's team?
– Sports Illustrated says the Bucs will finish 10-6 this season, which it says will tie them with Atlanta for the NFC South title. Their pivotal game, says the magazine, will be Week Five against New England.
– Foxsports.com says Gerald McCoy is the team's most likely future Hall of Famer. The site also says Von Miller wins in Denver (instead of Peyton Manning), so don't start yelling out Ronde Barber or John Lynch. Personally, I think McCoy needs a few playoff appearances to get in.
– Still worried about Bucs' running back Doug Martin? Who isn't? Well, the staff at Sports Illustrated has him as the fifth most-important Buc (non-quarterbacks) on the team. The poll included No. 1 Mike Evans. No. 2 was a tie between McCoy and DeSean Jackson. No. 4 was tackle Donovan Smith, followed by Martin, Lavonte David, Vernon Hargreaves, Robert Ayers and O.J. Howard. I'm sorry, but I can't list 10 players (and seven honorable mentions) without naming punter Bryan “Banger” Anger.
– Those kind of lists are usually funny, of course. I saw a list of the top 25 players in the NFC South going into 2012. The Bucs' entries were Adrian Clayborn (23rd) and Josh Freeman (25th).
– Perhaps fans of the Orlando Magic shouldn't expect improvement. According to theSpun.com, the Magic will draft third in the 2018 draft and take Arizona center Deandre Ayton. Um, they evidently won't have to trade for the pick.
– Despite the impressive off-season, the Bucs' only get so much love. The Sporting News has Dirk Koetter ranked 21st in the NFL. Maybe he needs to be on Hard Knocks.
– Did you see where the Sharks' Brett Burns was asked for autographs at Disney World because fans thought he was a pirate. The same thing happened with the Bucs' Ray Perkins, who the kids thought was Goofy.
– DeVonta Freeman says he should have been the Super Bowl MVP with his 75 yards rushing. Gee. All he needed was a 210-yard run to catch Matt Ryan's yardage.
– Let me get this straight: It's okay that Lamar Odom did crack. It's not all right if Stephen A. Smith talks about it? Right.
– Wake-up call for Phil Jackson! Wake-up call for Phil Jackson!
– The Red Wings drafted a guy named John Adams from Boston. He actually moves fairly well considering that he died in 1826.
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