Random thoughts: My kingdom for a punter?

by Gary Shelton on June 4, 2017 · 0 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Lightning, Tampa Bay Rays

Elvis was the King. Micheal Jackson was the King of Pop. Richard was the King of England. Richard Petty was the King. Felix Hernandez has been the King, but not lately. Bernard and Albert were Kings. And, of course, LeBron James is King James, though not the original one. So when Raiders' punter Marquette King asks if Rhianna meant him when she tweeted about the King (while watching the Cavs), it seems a little presumptuous. Marquette is, what, like 83rd in line for the throne?

– ESPN has fired everyone who knew what shape a football is, so take heart when the network picks the Bucs to finish 16th this season. The site picks the Bucs to finish last in their division.

– I disagree with Oscar de la Hoya, who said it would be a “circus” if Floyd Mayweather were to box Conor McGregor. Circuses have acrobats. This would just have clowns.

– Bleacher Report gives the Rays a grade of B so far this season. Not bad, since it's the second highest grade in the division. Some extra credit work may be necessary, however.

– Sorry to see John Clayton get fired by ESPN. The joke between John and I is that I saved his life once. Seriously, we were snorkling in Hawaii (NFL owners' meetings) when I looked at John, and his mask was filled with water, and he was freaking out. So I did what anyone would do. I yelled “stand up” because we were in about four feet of water. I didn't get a medal.

– Head: "Why the Bucs shouldn't give up on Roberto Aguayo just yet. Short story: It's June.

– On a Eurosport guest appearance, Hope Solo proclaims herself as the commissioner of women's football.” If you can stand the profanity, she's actually pretty funny. Of course, her entire career was a stand-up act.

– The Sporting News, listing each team's draft-day mistakes, says the decision to pick Mark Barron over Luke Kuechly was the Bucs' worst. No. The decision to trade the following year's No. 1 draft pick to take Booker Reese was much worse. That pick could have been Dan Marino.

– Two ways to look at the Rays' start. One, they've been unlucky and injury prone, and could get better. Two, they've been on an offensive tear, and the leads they've blown should have made this a torrid start for the team.

– Hey, Mr. Met. Who's No. 1?

– Tiger Woods is ranked No. 654 in the world. Which means if your tournament has only 653 slots, he's out of luck.

– Johnny Manziel says he's ready to resume his NFL career. In related news, so are JaMarcus Russell, Ryan Leaf, Josh Freeman and Cade McCown.

– In light of Tiger Woods' latest meltdown, the Detroit baseball team will henceforth be known as the “Eldricks.”

– The term is trending now, but I wonder how much man covfefe the Bucs will play this year.

– Remember those “Bo Knows” commercials. Evidently, we won't see a series of “Tebow knows.” Great guy, Tim, honestly, but he hit 47.9 percent of his passes in the NFL and he's hitting .218 in baseball. Can he play hockey?

– Bad ideas that were stopped before they hurt themselves: The WWF, six months after O.J. Simpson's trial, considered having Simpson wrestling against Roddy Piper. It was stopped by negative publicity, not clearer thoughts.

– Brock Osweiler said he should be a starter in the NFL because “the proof is in the film.” Steven Seagal said the same thing about winning an Academy Award.

– If Pete Carroll is right, Colin Kaepernick's problem isn't that he is unemployed. It's just that NFL doesn't have enough teams. I figure they need 67.

– If ESPN is right, the Lightning will lose Vlad Namestnikov to the Las Vegas Nights. Three of four experts say so, and the fourth says the Bolts lose no one. Now, does anyone wonder why Tampa Bay missed the playoffs?

– Puckprose.com says the Lightning lose Braydon Coburn, although the site has Ondrej Palat or Alex Killorn exposed.

– A thought about Lane Kiffin inviting Kanye West and Kim Kardashian to a Florida Atlantic game next year: You think there will be room?

– Pop quiz: Name the top 10 women by the WTA rankings. Hint: One of them, pregnant and all, is Serena Williams. The others are not.

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