Casting your vote for sports in Tampa Bay

by Gary Shelton on October 27, 2016 · 6 comments

in general

Thursday, 4 a.m.

What we are electing is only the leader of the free world.

Sports, of course, is more important than that.

It is a place that is full of locker-room talk. It is a place of winners and losers and nastiness. It is a place of trash talk and spin-doctoring and going for the gold.

I used to wonder what would happen if fans got to vote on team owners, on coaches, on quarterbacks.

And so, if you had to vote on the sports world,who would you vote for?

Quarterback, worst bust.

a) Ryan Leaf

b) Jamarcus Russel

c) Johnny Manziel

d) Akili Smith

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Who should own the Tampa Bay Rays?

a) Vince Naimoli

b) Stu Sternberg

c) Coco LaBoy

Who should own the Tampa Bay Bucs?

a) Hugh Culverhouse

b) Glazer family

c) Eddie DeBartolo

d) Socrates Babacas

Who should own the Tampa Bay Lightning?

a) Takashi Okubo

b) Art Williams

c) Oren Koules

d) Jeff Vinik

Who would start at quarterback for the Bucs in their ultimate game?

a) Doug Williams

b) Brad Johnson

c) Josh Freeman

d) Jameis Winston

Who would start for the Rays in the ultimate game 7:

a) James Shields

b) David Price

c) Matt Garza

d) Chris Archer

You wish Cubs' manager Joe Maddon, a former Ray:

a) Would win the World Series

b) Would lose the World Series

c) Would take a massive pay cut and talent deficit to come home to the Rays

d) Would buy the Rays' a new stadium

Who would you rather see with the puck in their prime with the score tied:

a) Marty St. Louis

b) Vinny Lecavalier

c) Brad Richards

d. Steven Stamkos

Who is the Bucs' best coach?

a) Tony Dungy

b) Jon Gruden

c) John McKay

d) Dirk Koetter

Where should the new Rays' stadium be built?

a) Tampa

b) St. Petersburg

c) Gateway

d) Montreal

Who is the best Bucs' player from the secondary?

a) Ronde Barber

b) John Lynch

c) Dexter Jackson

d) Rod “Toast” Jones

Who is the best Lightning goaltender?

a) Nikolai Khabibulin

b) Darren Puppa

c) Dwayne Roloson

d) Ben Bishop

Who is the biggest Bucs' bust?

a) Booker Reese

b) Charles McRae

c) Eric Curry

d) Keith McCants

Who is the Lightning's best coach?

a) John Tortorella

b) Guy Bouchard

c) Jon Cooper

d) Terry Crisp

Which former Tampa Bay athlete should be in the Hall of Fame?

a) Dave Andreychuck

b) John Lynch

c) Fred McGriff

d) Marty St. Louis

The biggest play in Tampa Bay sports history is:

a) Marty St. Louis scoring to win Game Six in Calgary, setting up the Stanley Cup win

b) Ronde Barber's interception return in the NFC title game, setting up the Super Bowl win

c) David Price striking out J.D. Drew with the bases loaded in the ALCS, setting up the World Series trip for the Rays.

d) Phil Esposito's tap-dance to get the Lightning in the first place.

Who is the best Bucs' TV analyst?

a) Jon Gruden

b) Tony Dungy

c) Ronde Barber

d) John Lynch

What was the biggest move nationally?

a) Bill Belichick walking out on the New York Jets

b) Steve Yzerman firing a successful coach in Guy Bouchard to make room for Jon Cooper

c) Peyton Manning going with Papa John's instead of Pizza Hut

d) Pete Carroll thinks throwing at the goal line is a fine idea.

The only man who can stop Tom Brady is:

a) Luke Kuechley

b) Von Miller

c) J.J. Watt

d) Roger Goodell

Who was the worst owner in Tampa Bay history?

a) Hugh Culverhouse

b) Vince Naimoli

c) Art Williams

d) Oren Koules

Vote for the proper order of the decisions Roger Goodell has made:

a) Deflategate

b) Spygate

c) Bountygate

d) Textgate

What is the best quote ever about Tampa Bay sports:

a) “The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.” – Chuck Lamar

b) “I said hockey. They thought I said sake.” – Phil Esposito

c) “I'm in favor of it,” John McKay asked about the execution of his team's offense.

d) “I am a tough get-up-and-get-after-it, take-no-prisoners kind of dude. And that is the kind of team we're going to have. We're going to the playoffs every year. We're going to win championships. We're going to fill the Ice Palace." – Art Williams.

Who is the worst free agent in Tampa Bay history?

a) Marc Denis

b) Alvin Harper

c) Pat Burrell

d) Anthony Collins

What is the worst piece of sporting equipment in Tampa Bay history?

a) The blurry fax machine blamed when the Flyers signed Chris Gratton.

b) The blade used when the Bucs cut off the end of Alvin Harper's finger

c) The telephone that glitched making the Bucs miss drafting Booker Reese. Sadly, they then traded next year's first-round draft pick away (it could have been Dan Marino) to get Reese, essentially messing up two drafts.

d) The glorious catwalks of Tropicana Field, for all who wonder what Arena Baseball would entail.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Larry Beller October 28, 2016 at 7:57 pm

Ok, let’s do it. Here goes;
Worst QB bust, b). He was terrible and got really fat.
Who should own the Rays, Jeff Vinik
Who should own the Bucs, c), my all-time favorite.
Who should own the Lightning, d), a local treasure.
Bucs ultimate game QB, b), it turned out pretty good the first time.
Pitcher in Rays game 7, d), assuming he isn’t overthinking it.
a), Joe Madden deserves the World Series victory
a) Marty is the best Lightning clutch player of all time
Best Bucs coach, a and b), it takes a village.
The Rays stadium, a) but only if Jeff Vinik buys the team.
Best Bucs secondary player is a) but it’s really close.
Best goalie, a) they won the cup with him as their best player.
Biggest Bucs bust, probably a) but there have been so many.
Best Lightning coach, a) until Cooper wins the Cup.
TB HOF athlete, d) without a doubt.
Best play, flip a coin between a) and b).
Best analyst, a) for the sheer entertainment value.
Biggest move nationally, has to be a).
Only Goodell can stop Tom Brady (Go Blue)
Worst TB owner, all of the above.
Best TB sport quote, c) it’s vintage but has stood the test of time.
Worst free agent signing, c), the Rays never pursued another big free agent after that disaster.
Worst equipment, d), I hate those catwalks. I think everyone does.

Reply

Gary Shelton October 28, 2016 at 11:11 pm

Fun stuff, Larry. My picks are in Ask Gary Saturday morning.

Reply

Jim Willson October 27, 2016 at 1:26 pm

Great column….man, have we had some awful owners.

Reply

Larry Beller October 27, 2016 at 7:37 am

Thanks for taking us down memory lane of Tampa Bay sports history with a lot of laughs. Can I get a mail in ballot? I had to Google Coco LaBoy. Where did that name come from?

Reply

Gary Shelton October 27, 2016 at 8:55 am

I wanted to reference someone from Montreal. He played for the old Expos.

Reply

Gary Shelton October 27, 2016 at 9:02 am

If you want, fill out your votes and leave them here, just for the goof.

Reply

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