Turns out, Johnny Manziel cannot hire an attorney from the TV ads. The guy texted the AP his opinions of his client, and now wants to say it wasn't “on the record.” Ace, you don't tell a news source you're on the record like a movie director. You may try to go off the record, but that's only with permission. Lunkhead.
– After Saturday night's fight, I have one question. How did that airbag ever take Keith Thurman out?
– The Tampa Bay Lightning playing without Steven Stamkos and Ben Bishop is kind of like making Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid without Paul Newman and Robert Redford. You really ask “who are those guys?
– The Orlando Magic always wanted to be like the Chicago Bulls. Now that the Bulls are going out of business, I think they are.
– The Las Vegas Divorce Papers?
– The Magic finally found out how to make Victor Oladipo a star. It traded him to the Thunder.
– Ben Affleck, who is not Matt Damon, went meltdown on the NFL for persecuting more little Tom Brady, which he says is not a good idea. Maybe not. On the other hand, neither was Daredevil.
– Every time I go outside, I worry about the Tampa Bay Rays landing on me.
– The Las Vegas Flying Elvises?
– Nineteen years after he retired, Herschel Walker says he could still help an NFL team. Sure he could. It's summer, and that stadium grass grows like the dickens.
– Manziel's father says he hopes his kid goes to jail. Why? Are they filming another “Longest Yard?”
– Did you see that Colts' owner Jim Irsay paid $137,500 for one of Prince's former guitars. My guess at his favorite song? “Let's Go Crazy.”
– The Las Vegas One-Armed Bandits?
– Do you think the Cuban National Team is embarrassed it lost to the Rays? At this rate, Iran wants a game.
– Did you hear that Stanley Wilson II, son of the Super Bowl cocaine user, was arrested for trying to intrude into a home. The police found him naked and in a backdoor water fountain. Guy never was good in coverage.
– Hint: If you're wondering about the movie Hands of Stone, here's a spoiler for you. He quits in the end.
– Do the Rays remind you of O.J. Simpson? Their gloves don't fit, either.
– It doesn't matter, but ESPN ranks the NFL coaches based on their playing careers. The Bucs' Dirk Koetter finished 25th.
– I wonder if the Pittsburgh Steelers, who just cut their kicker for failing a physical, think that the Bucs drafted Roberto Aguayo too high,
{ 0 comments… read it below or Subscriptions }