Random Thoughts: Holtz looks good far away

by Gary Shelton on December 20, 2015 · 0 comments

in general, NFL, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tampa Bay Lightning

Sunday, 6 a.m.

Hi, I'm Skip Holtz. And the further away from USF that I get, the smarter I seem to be.

–Just wondering:  Could the Tampa Bay Lightning score on the Tampa Bay Bucs?

– Funny way for Will Grier to say thanks for Florida sticking by him?

– Why did the Rangers sign Matt Bush Saturday? Well, it worked so well for Charlie Sheen in Major League. And because he wasn't out of prison until after Friday.

– Maybe it's just me, but Richard Dent sounds like one of those old grumps in the balcony on the Muppets.

– Look at the bright side. Pete Rose can gamble all he wants now.

– Question: Will the Bucs get getting ready for the playoffs this time next year? If not, how disappointing will it be?

– The Sporting News Recast the Original Star Wars movies with NFL celebrities. James Winston was Lando Calrissian. Beats Rex Ryan, of course, who was Jabba the Hutt.

– I was stunned at the prices given for memorabilia of the movie Rocky including $45,000 for Drago's outfit. Um, fans are aware they weren't real, right?

– Isn't it a shame when the nickname is better than the player? Matty Ice? Why, because he's so cold lately?

– Just wondering. Did anyone watch Jeff Driskel last night and think of a line out of the Godfather: “So, it was Will Muschamp all along?''

– Of course, if Rocky were a real boxer, he'd have traded in Adrian by now.

– Clinton Portis is broke, filing for bankruptcy after making $43 million in a nine year career. That's like, what, seven Lottos?

– What do Derek Anderson, Ryan Mallett and Case Keenum have in common? Everlasting gratitude for the Bucs over the last two years. The Bengals, and A.J. McCarron, are petitioning to play the Bucs down the stretch.

– Now that the Bucs' cornerbacks have a day off...well, how will they tell?

– Ronda Rousey dressed up as a Star Wars Star Trooper? No wonder she lost. Those guys were the Care Bears of space.

– If I wanted to build a stadium in Tampa Bay, I'd start to withdraw money for every pitcher the Rays traded. Is it just me, are do the Rays seem to be trying hard to give pitchers away?

– Next time you think there are too many bowl games, remember Appalachian State and Ohio and Arizona and New Mexico.

– Michael Sam only thought he was controversial before tweeting a Star Wars spoiler. After that, he's a bigger villain than Jar Jar Binks.

– As he approaches his 40th birthday, I'm sure I have the same question about Tiger Woods that you do. Think he can finish 40th in a major sometime this year?

– Do you think “Darth” is Star Wars talk for “Coach?”

– Know why the arrest rate has fallen in the NFL? Well, Aaron Hernandez and Darren Sharper and Lawrence Phillips have already checked into the cage.

– Viking linebacker Chad Greenway says that pig wrangling helped make him the pro he is today. And that explains the Chad Greenway calendar over Miss Piggy's desk.

– Wonder if Skip Holtz will watch the Miami Beach Bowl?

– Love Chuck Pagano's outlook about being canned. “They can kill you,” he said, “but they can't eat you.'' Just as well. Schiano TarTar doesn't sound very good.

– Gee. No one ever suggests that Willie Taggart is winning with Holtz' players.

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